Great work on the souks

Secret Dubai has posted about the upgrade of the Deira spice souk, making the point that it might just save it from closure - which I really hope they can achieve.

I think they've done a great job with the upgrades of the souks and here's the proof - a photo of the Bur Dubai textile souk in 1960 and another which I took from more or or less the same place a few months ago...

Road rant

After my follow-on from the rant about company attitude, a follow-on to my regular rants about driving standards. Just a quick one but it's so typical of what we face every day we're on the roads.

I just drove from Dubai Marina to Mall of the Emirates. What's that, maybe seven or eight kilometres? Just a few minutes.

Here's the tally that I noticed, I'm sure there were more that I missed.

Deliberately driving through a red light: 1

Illegal U-turn into oncoming traffic whilst talking on a mobile phone: 1

Driving whilst talking on mobile phone: I counted seven.

Driving above the posted speed limit: Too many to count but more than half the drivers. I am not exaggerating - more than half.

Driving dangerously above the posted speed limit: 3

Dangerous lane-changing with no signal and at excessive speed: 2

Police cars: Zero

Company attitude...

Just a quick follow-on from my rant about companies taking our money but not expecting to provide anything in return.

Our fake alternative telco, du, has announced that:

"...it will allow new customers to register for mobile numbers starting on November 26, but details about pricing and its launch may have to wait until January."

Go to their website and they tell you nothing. Cliches, jargon, mission statements, all the usual press release phrases trotted out again. But information? What are they actually going to provide, when and for how much? Forget it.

But they will "allow" customers to register for mobile numbers from next week. They say: "Under a campaign beginning next week entitled "055 my number," etisalat customers wishing to switch to du may carry over their seven digit number at a cost of Dh100.

Why would anyone switch when we don't know what, when or the cost?

Yet another example of 'you give us your money, we'll decide later what we'll give you in return.'

The announcement was carried in Gulf News.

THIS is a road safety campaign.

Think about the road safety campaigns that the authorities run, and are planning to run, in Dubai.

Think about the 'quality' of advertising here too.

Then look at these road safety tv commercials running in the UK.

We need this kind of campaign here. Desperately.

This is absolutely brilliant advertising.

We need the whole team who produced the ads brought to Dubai to shoot and produce the same campaign here, and the authorities to run the same comprehensive media schedule.

It would cost much less in dollar terms than the ineffective, uncreative stuff we get. And the saving of lives would be priceless.

The commercials are here and here.

If you go to the UK Road Safety site you can check out all the ads, tv, cinema, radio, print media.

I urge everyone in advertising, agency and client alike, to go to the Road Safety website and spend time there. It's not only the creativity that's important, it's the thinking, the research, the conclusions, the identification of target audience segments, the integrated campaign, the comprehensive detail. This is a total, professional campaign. This is how advertising should be.

I'm indebted to our new friend S!ckbhOy for the heads-up on these commercials, which he gave on keefieboy's blog.

Only in Dubai/part 2

I really must run a series recording the classic 'look what you made me do' excuses given by the accused in Dubai courts.

There's another doozy in today's Gulf News.

You don't need the link, it's only short so here it is:

Manager claims he was forced to impersonate police official

By Bassam Za'za', Staff Reporter

Dubai: A manager who is being tried for impersonating a police official has claimed that he was forced to do so because "a secretary abused him verbally over the phone".

Dubai Public Prosecution had charged the 26-year-old Lebanese manager, identified as H.G., with impersonating personnel from Dubai Police's Criminal Investigation Department.

The manager who appeared before the Dubai Court of Appeal yesterday was pleading guilty but seeking clemency. "I did send an SMS to the claimant's mobile phone in which I claimed that I was a police official. I had to do so because the girl abused me verbally and cursed and insulted me," the 26-year-old accused told Presiding Judge Fouad Hamdoun yesterday.

Police heard that the accused sent an SMS to the 27-year-old secretary, S.R., from Belarus, on her cell phone in which he impersonated a policeman. In his statement, the accused claimed that he coincidentally called up the woman twice and spoke to her.

He said she abused him over the phone after which he sent her an SMS.

The Dubai Court of First had earlier fined him Dh2,000 but the Public Prosecution appealed the initial verdict.

So we have the manager (coincidentally) phoning the 'Russian' girl, the content of the calls we can guess at, she tells him to **** off, he sends an SMS saying 'you can't talk to me like that I'm a police officer'...and his defence is that he was forced to take that action.

I can't wait for the court's verdict.

Service? In your dreams.

An example of typical Dubai service levels.

We pay a ridiculous amount every month for First Net TV. We watch a couple of hours a week of the rare watchable programmes amongst the ancient repeat dross. You know, the programmes featuring up-and-coming young actors who actually are now retirees or dead. I pay extra to watch English Premier League, four matches a week.

Oh, and they don't even bother to publish a programme guide so that their paying customers know what's on.

'You give us your money, we give you as little as possible in return'.

On Friday the TV dies on us. No reception of any channels.

We call First Net. They direct us to their service representatives EuroStar.

They say they'll send a technician betwen 24 and 48 hours later. Not a good example of service so far, we are after all paying for something that they're no longer supplying.

Around 36 hours later two technicians - I use the term loosely - arrive. They do exactly what I've been doing, which is use the remote to re-programme the set.

Surprise, surprise! They get the same result as me. Nothing.

The meter comes out, they plug in, mutter to each other and tell me the fault is in the building.

"Call the real estate company to fix it". And they walk towards the door.

Me: "That's it?"

*Shrug*

Me: "I pay a lot of money for TV which I'm not getting and you just walk away?"

Them: "You don't pay for service."

This is the second time in less than six months that I've called First Net because reception disappeared. The second time they've referred me to Euro Star as their 'service representative'. The second time I've been rudely told by their 'technicians' that I don't pay for service.

I honestly believe that the only answer to this kind of arrogant, pig-ignorant attitude is a firm smack in the mouth.

I am so close. Instead I say: "I pay for TV reception, I am not getting TV reception. I don't have to pay extra for 'service' to give me what I've already paid in advance for."

*Shrug*

They walk away.

Not only is a smack in the mouth the only thing that will make them understand that arrogance and ignorance is unacceptable, it's the only way they'll learn not to turn their backs on a customer and walk away.

I am fuming at the fact that companies take our money but don't give us what we've paid for. And more so at the rudeness, the lack of manners, the arrogance of their employees.

I manage to do no more than fume.

I call EuroStar and get a 'customer service executive'.

I tell him the problem. That is, I'm not getting the TV reception I'm paying for, the 'technicians' don't know what to do, tell me not to expect any service and simply walk away. I tell him the other apartments in the building have no problem.

The 'customer service executive' isn't listening, obviously. He tells me I probably need to put the dish higher than the surrounding buildings. I tell him it's already as high as it can be on the roof and in any case no-one else is having a problem.

He tells me the dish is no good and I need to get Tecom or E-Vision to do a cable installation.

I tell him that it is an E-Vision installation.

He tells me that my subscription runs out on November 30, so I can either simply not renew or I can cancel it from today.

So much for companies giving you what you pay for.

More toll questions...

…and more questions about planning competence.

A PS to my post yesterday about the road tolls being introduced in Dubai…

Today there’s a follow-up report in Gulf News that raises even more questions, and once again demonstrates incompetence in the ‘planning’ process that is creating needless chaos throughout Dubai.

First point is the statement that: “The RTA is still considering whether the toll should be charged round the clock or only during peak rush hours.”

WHAT!

An absolutely fundamental part of the plan hasn’t been worked out yet, nevertheless they’ve decided it will be introduced, where it will be introduced and that it will reduce congestion!

How can they possibly claim it’s a viable plan if they haven’t even thought through something as basic as when it will operate?

Then we have the CEO of the Traffic & Roads Agency stating: “The main idea of the toll system is to reduce congestion and exercise better traffic management on Shaikh Zayed Road, and to make motorists use alternate routes and other modes of transportation.”

“…other modes of transport.” What are they exactly?

Car pooling ain’t allowed, the Metro is years away, buses leave a lot to be desired – and as we have no dedicated bus lanes they get stuck in traffic anyway. And taxi passengers will have to pay the toll on top of the metered fare. So what are the 'other modes of transport'? Aren’t the people who run our roads aware of the facts?

Then we have this very strange example of the ‘planners’ art: “The current plans also stipulate that tolls will only have to be paid if you cross the one of the two crossing points - at Mall of the Emirates or Garhoud - if you join the road at another point you will not have to pay the toll.”

Ummmm? How does that equate to “easing traffic congestion on Sheikh Zayed Road”? A quick detour around the gate and back onto the road.

As for ‘Fees & Fines’, yet more examples, as though we need them, of the quality and competence of the ‘planners’.

Under ‘Tariffs’ we’re told the card and subscription fee (subscription?) is Dh50. The first item under ‘Fines’ shows: “Failure to display the card Dh100.”

Hang on, hang on! What does that mean?

Bear in mind that this is just the first toll road to be announced, there will be many more. So does it mean that all vehicle owners must ‘subscribe’ to and display a card? There will obviously be a method of tracing offenders, so then what? A check on whether you ‘subscribed’ to a card and if you did but didn’t display it you’re hit with a Dh100 fine? Second offence Dh200, third offence Dh400.

But wait…'use of tariff gates by unauthorised vehicles’ means a fine of Dh100. So it’s cheaper to not ‘subscribe’ to a card but to just be an 'unauthorised vehicle'.

Back to the drawing board.

Oh wait, too late. Decisions have been made, the plan is already in place, the operator is contracted, Dh500 million is allocated.

The only person who can sort this out is The Big Boss, but he can’t be expected to get involved in this kind of small detail. So I guess the only chance we have of any sense being brought into the equation is if he could look at the whole ‘planning’ operation, the ability & competence of the ‘planners’ and the obvious and urgent need for major changes.