Not happy

I've had a few dealings recently with the unbelievable red tape in the UK and the laughable customer service there and I'm in the middle of another major problem caused by it right now.

A few months ago we sold a house we owned in England. You wouldn't believe what we had to do to prove we were who we said we were - it was all to do with money laundering legislation the solicitor said.

In reality most the frustration is caused by 'jobsworths'; defined by the Oxford English Dictionary  as "a person in authority (esp. a minor official) who insists on adhering to rules and regulations or bureaucratic procedures even at the expense of common sense." They've also been defined as "a minor factotum whose only status comes from enforcing otherwise petty regulations".

In my experience it's more than that. It's people misinterpreting, misunderstanding or simply not knowing enough about the rules but insisting on enforcing their version of them.

To complete the house sale we had to produce passports, other photo ID, signed statements from people that we were indeed us, copies of credit cards to prove our signatures were our signatures.  We had to prove our bank account was our bank account.  Each new piece of evidence we supplied was followed by another demand for something additional.  It went on for days.

My latest run in is with Emirates and my UK bank.

I made bookings online for two family members to travel from the UK to Australia. I've booked online with Emirates many times and it's quick and easy with their excellent website.

But not if you're flying from the UK. If the person paying is not one of the passengers they won't accept credit card payments.

So I had to do a bank transfer, not to Emirates but to their nominated Global Collect BV. Did that, got a receipt from my bank. Waited for the e-tickets.

Nothing. No confirmation, no acknowledgement, no tickets.

I e-mailed Emirates to ask why and discovered that queries are forwarded to the country of departure. That means it went to the UK, so naturally my e-mail was ignored.

I sent another one.

This time I got a reply saying it must be a payment problem and asking for details of the payment. I gave them the information and they replied that my query had been passed to the relevant department and I would be informed as soon as they had an update.  

The bank, the now government owned Royal Bank of Scotland, had sent me a note that the money had been transferred but I wanted to double-check that it had indeed gone from our bank account.

The website won't let me log in. It suggests you re-activate your online banking if that happens. It won't let me reactivate.

You can send them an e-mail, which they promise to respond to in typical UK customer service style...within ten working days.

Now there's an e-mail from Emirates that as payment was not made by the due date the reservations have been cancelled and I have to rebook. But I pay again of course if I do that.

You might guess that I'm not best pleased at the moment.

Smack into the wall

Back in Dubai and I inevitably smashed straight into the wall of frustration.

Sorry but I need to get it off my chest. After all, what's a blog for if it isn't to let off steam. (Feel free to leave at this point before I start).

The first and worst frustration is the bank. No surprise there then for anyone living in the UAE.

Two days of incompetence, of stupidity, of false information, of bank-built barriers to prevent the customer doing the simplest thing. I swear they do it deliberately to make us go away, to stop us asking them for anything.

And I'm still only at the begining of trying to do one very simple thing with them.

Here's the story so far:

I arrived back in Dubai to find a new credit card and new Debit/ATM card waiting for me.

With the Debit/ATM card is a sealed envelope containing a PIN. On the outside it says "Debit/ATM Card PIN."

Inside it says "...PIN to access Debit Card/ATM services..."

Next to the PIN it says "...PIN for Debit Card/ATM Services."

I assumed that means the PIN relates to the Debit/ATM card.

Foolish of me of course, that's apparently not what it means at all.

It tells me to change the PIN, "which can only be done at all HSBC ATM's in the UAE."

There's a sticker on the card itself that tells me to call an 800 number "to select your PIN."  Not a good sign, starting with a contradiction. Only at an ATM...or alternatively by phoning.

I'll be passing an HSBC ATM so I decide to do it there.

Following the prompts I put my Debit/ATM card into the slot, then key in the PIN they've given me. Then I key in the PIN I want to change to.

As requested, I re-key in the PIN I want to change to and I re-key in the PIN they've given me. It tells me the transaction has been successful.

Then it changes its mind and tells me the transaction has failed and I should go to a counter.

I go to a counter.

The cashier tells me I'm using the wrong card, I should have put in my credit card.

I point out that all this PIN stuff came with the Debit/ATM card and that's what it says all over the envelope.

He shrugs and gets on with some important paperwork.

HSBC customer service personified.

I walk steam away, fuming.

I come back and recheck all the paperwork. No, nothing about PINs on the credit card paperwork, the PIN all relates to the Debit/ATM card.

Today I think I'll give the 800 number a try.

Unbelieveable.

You're being talked to by a computer of course, so you have to wait for it to tell you what to do, key in whatever it demands before it moves on to its next demand.

What they haven't bothered to tell me in advance is that I'll need lots of information at my fingertips to be able to advance through the phone call.

How hard is that? While telling me to call the number to select my PIN they could so very easily have said "you will need the following information".

Here's how the one-way 'conversation' goes:

Please wait while we identify your contact number.

I wait.

To continue in English  press 1.

I press 1.

Please key in the last six digits of your primary bank account number or primary card number.

(Dash away to find the numbers, come back and redial. Start all over again).

Please wait while we identify your contact number.

I wait.

To continue in English press 1.

I press 1.

Please key in the last six digits of your primary bank account number or primary card number followed by the hash key.

I obey.

Please key in your full ten digit personal banking number or your full twelve digit bank account number or your full sixteen digit primary card number followed by the hash key.

Scramble for bits of paper trying to find numbers, count the digits to see if I've got the right one. Too late, the computer has lost patience with me and cancelled the call.

Redial and start again.

Please wait while we identify your contact number.

I wait.


To continue in English press 1.

I press 1. 

Please key in the last six digits of your primary bank account number or primary card number followed by the hash key.

I comply.

Please key in your full ten digit personal banking umber or your full twelve digit bank account number or your full sixteen digit primary card number followed by the hash key.

I obey.

We're sorry, the number you've entered doesn't match our records. Please try again.

I do. Very carefully. Digit by digit.

We're sorry, the number you've entered doesn't match our records.

You probably heard the phone slamming down over in Sharjah.

So HSBC wins again. I've done what they always intended me to do, give up, go away and leave them alone.


Now for something completely different, let me tell you about the customer service we enjoyed in one of our ubiquitous franchise restaurants food factories last evening.

The waiter was friendly, pleasant, doing his job to the best of his ability and let me say that I don't for one second criticise him for his lack of English. That's the fault of his employer. People employed in customer service here need to speak English because of our diverse population. But that's not something that concerns the people who employ them, they just bring in job-lots of bodies. Why would it matter if they can't actually give the service customers expect.

We'd been shopping and stopped at Noodle Factory in Dubai Marina Mall for a quick meal.

One of the dishes includes mixed peppers, which we don't like. Mrs Seabee asks the waiter to get the chef to change the peppers for a different vegetable.

Blank look.

Repeat the request worded slightly differently.

Still a blank look.

Try again, in pidgin English.

He sort of gets part of it because he carefully explains that, yes, the mixed peppers come with the chicken.

We try again. Yes we understand that but maybe the chef could replace the peppers with broccoli?

He tells us if we want extra broccoli we have to pay extra.

It's soon after my HSBC run-in and I get very close to losing my temper.

Through gritted teeth and perhaps a little louder than I would normally speak I suggest he just brings whatever he wants to bring.

We push the mixed peppers to one side and eat the meat, vegetable-less.



It's all so unnecessary. Doing the right thing, running a business competently, making it easy for customers to do business with you isn't actually very difficult.

But here there's a universal wilful insistance on doing it the wrong way, running businesses incompetently, making it hard for customers to do business with them.

And I haven't even mentioned their websites.


There, I feel a bit better now. I knew I would.

Dontcha just love banks

No, I'll be fair and not blame an inanimate object.

'A bank' doesn't get things wrong.

It's people. People stuff up.

People are the problem, and some of them are employed by banks.

I'll  link two events, a couple of months and thousands of kilometres apart. A visit to our Aussie bank back in December and a visit to our snail-mail PO Box in Dubai this morning.

Back in Oz in December, Mrs Seabee went into our bank to ask for a new cheque book, which we'd pick up from them.

Apparently 'the system' says that you can't, they have to snail-mail it to you.

Resignedly, Mrs Seabee replied: "OK. Send the new chequebook to our Australian address".

The bank clerk somehow heard: "Send a new Deposit Book to our Dubai PO Box".

How?

If you don't like it...

The commercial centre of the region is what Dubai wants, needs, to be.

They make it hard though.

Doing business is tough even in good times, so creating unnecessary obstacles and having a bad attitude culture are a huge problem.

A couple of those things have come up again.

Dubai Marina at JBR, going to The Walk.

There are plenty, maybe a hundred, shops and restaurants. All wanting and needing customers to spend money with them.

Parking for the customers? The usual lack of planning has thousands of apartments with too few parking spaces for residents and very little parking space for the thousands of visitors the businesses need.

Now an increasing amount of the limited space is being reserved for valet parking - which simply means paid parking.

Here's a section, both sides of the road. Park yourself but it's Dh20.



Forget it, I'll go somewhere else. So the retailers here lose out.

If the retailers complain I know what the response will be.

The corporate version of 'if you don't like it you can leave' which is the normal business culture of so many companies here.

There are plenty of examples of it in the archives on this blog, going back to 2006.

One of the first I came across was when the pay TV box packed up soon after it was installed. I phoned to complain, was told they didn't do service and when I asked what I was paying for the answer was simply 'do you want to cancel your subscription'.

Plenty of comments have been left on those posts with similar stories.

A restaurant manager told me a similar story again yesterday. A huge drop in footfall to the location since other attractions such as Dubai Mall opened, so they asked the management of the mall for some promotions to attract people again.

'If you don't like it you can leave. I can always get someone else to take over your shop'.

It's not only infuriating it's terrible business practice, arrogant in the extreme.

Paid for but not delivered.

A service paid for by consumers isn't delivered. The non-supplier says it's not his fault, doesn't mention compensation.

Shock! Horror! Surely not!

In reality it's not an unusual situation in this area by any stretch of the imagination.

This time it's the exclusive World Cup TV coverage supplied by Al Jazeera Sport to the region.

Or more accurately, partly supplied.

There are reports from across the region of people who've paid hard-earned money to watch the games but not getting what they've paid for.

Almost half of the opening match between hosts South Africa and Mexico was lost. Next day about half the Argentina-Nigeria match was also lost.

Frozen screens, garbled pictures, wrong language was what the punters received for their outlay.

"We're being sabotaged" say Al Jazeera.

Hackers have been mentioned but the fun stuff comes with the conspiracy theories.

Al Jazeera Sport have blamed Nilesat, accusing them of 'an act of piracy by causing intentional disruption'.

Egyptian Radio & Television Union, which owns 40 percent of Nilesat, responded with their own conspiracy theory - that Al Jazeera might have decided to punish Nilesat 10 minutes after the first disruption by claiming that its causes were unknown and requesting its viewers to move to other providers, such as Arabsat, Hotbird and Noorsat.

Nasser Al Khelaifi, GM of Al Jazeera Sport, says that Al Jazeera is working with "a number of international specialised companies" to track down the culprits and that he was confident they would be be found soon.

That's nice.

Meanwhile, the problem needs to be sorted out so that people who've paid to watch the matches can actually see them. In full. In the right language.

I assume it's far too much to hope that a discount based on what's not delivered is in the pipeline.



There are plenty of reports in the region's media, here are some:
Gulf News.
Arab News.
Arabian Business.

More Metro nonsense

A problem that shouldn't have happened, no information for those affected, waffle that insults our intelligence from the official spokesman.

Situation normal then.

The Metro had another technical fault yesterday, this time to do with the signals the trains send back to the computer, so trains were stopped on most of the system for three to four hours.

Inevitably, passengers complain that they were given no information, had no idea what was happening, they were just shuttled about on buses.

Lack of communication is exactly what I complained about last week, when the Metro's last 'technical issue' inconvenienced passengers but they were told nothing.

Seven new stations were opened on Friday and additional trains were added. You'd assume that it would all be tested and any problems fixed before the public was invited to use it. Yet it all ground to a halt during peak time.

But according to Pehyman Younes Parham, Director of Marketing and Communication for the RTA, such technical issues are normal and to be expected.

Oh really.

It's just the same old comment that's been used before, an insult to our intelligence repeated yet again to explain away a problem that should not have occurred.

Last week's technical issues were to be expected too, according to Mr Parham after that episode.

I realise it's alien thinking to companies here but what I think should be 'normal and to be expected' is that technical issues are all sorted out before something is opened to the public.

The Metro system is closed for seven hours during weekday nights and for fifteen hours Thursay/Friday. Time enough, I would have thought, for the necessary testing to be carried out, any glitches fixed and the system running efficiently before the public was encouraged to use the new stations and extra trains.


I've always thought that the worst thing any company can do is set the bar for achievement so low that the target is 'we're no worse than anyone else'. I was reminded of this during Mr Parham's interview on DubaiEye radio this morning.

He began by saying that the Metro has been benchmarked against other similar systems around the world and guess what - we're no worse than them.

That's OK then, if that's the lofty goal that's been set.

Then the old 'it's to be expected' excuse was trotted out yet again to explain away the problem.

On behalf of several listeners who complained about the total lack of communication he was asked what the RTA had done to tell inconvenienced passengers what was going on. He took the time-honoured route and ignored the question, waffling on about something entirely different for a couple of minutes.

In true UAE journalistic style the question wasn't repeated and he wasn't pushed for an answer.

The answer I suppose comes from the passengers - nothing was done to tell them what was going on.

True to the Dubai customer service ethic, something is opened before it's ready, infuriated customers are given no information at the time they're being inconvenienced, then are later told it's all perfectly normal.

Gulf News has the report here.

Getting the easiest part wrong

I never cease to be amazed that the simplest part of any problem is so consistently mishandled by companies.

It's always been the same, they never learn and I don't expect they ever will.

The easiest part is communication.

Tell the people affected what the problem is, what you're doing to correct it and, if possible, when you expect the problem to be rectified and service back to normal.

How hard is that?

For some inexplicable reason it's so hard it's impossible.

We've had it throughout the volcano ash cloud chaos, the biggest complaint from people, as always, is the lack of communication, lack of information.

Dubai's Metro is at it again too.

Passengers using the Dubai Metro once again faced delays yesterday following a disruption, which was not explained by the Metro operators.

However, what frustrated the passengers the most were confusing announcements made inside the trains and by ill-informed staff at the stations.

Situation perfectly normal then.

Metro operations remained suspended once again for around 50 minutes after 12:15pm on Sunday and then around 3pm while passengers wondered what had happened.

Leaving passengers stranded with no information makes it impossible for them to know what to do. Do they stay in the station and wait for an unknown amount of time or do they make other arrangements to get to their destination?

They can't make the decision thanks to the lack of communication from the Metro operators. Even worse, they're getting the usual 'five minutes' rubbish from staff.

How many times have I been told 'five minutes', or 'take a seat, coming'. It's just a way of getting rid of you, to stop you pestering them.

It's typical too of the 'customer service' we've come to expect. Take your money and that's it, nothing after that is of any concern to the company.

The problem was later explained with the usual platitudes.

A Dubai Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) spokesperson said that technical issues were behind the slight disruptions.

"We are preparing to add more trains with the opening of new stations from April 30" said Peyman Younes Parham, director of marketing and communication at the RTA.

"Techical issues are being sorted out, especially regarding the train headways and waiting time of passengers and this has led to some delays. It is quite normal when you add more services on a running track."

Why didn't you tell your passengers that? Why weren't your staff briefed? Did it happen unexpectedly - your statement 'it's perfectly normal' indicates it didn't? So why no advance notice?

If it was unexpected, why wasn't information put on the electronic boards and the public announcement system?





The story's here.

Reality check

I'm not the only one who complains about the standard of customer service we have to put up with in Dubai, it's a fairly common complaint.

But I also point out every so often that many of the things we suffer from in Dubai really aren't any different to those people around the world come up against.

An example of that is the current economic crisis.

Plenty of people talk about how Dubai is suffering from the downturn. Much of that is with undisguised glee which, incidentally, surprises and annoys me. To gloat about other people's misfortune isn't acceptable.

But we're not suffering any more than the rest of the world, in fact we're weathering the storm somewhat better than many places. Property price slump, unemployment, money hard to get, cancelled projects are all happening worldwide.

A couple of examples which confirm that Dubai really isn't very different have just popped up, both from a blogger I enjoy reading. First, have a look at Keith's comment on my last posting about the lack of safety.

Then read Keith's post on the customer service he experiences in the UK. It's an infuriating example which had me giggling as I read it.

I won't copy it here, just click on this link to read about his attempt to spend money in his local garden centre: At Home with Keith.

Service from Etisalat

I complain about Etisalat from time to time, with good reason, so I should also record when something is done well.

Yesterday evening I suddenly lost my connection - couldn't get to the 'net or e-mail.

So I called the help line.

First good point, I got through, it wasn't engaged.

The usual thing of a machine telling me which numbers to press to finally get to a human being.

A short wait, no more than a couple of minutes, because all the staff were 'busy helping other customers' and then I was talking to a helpful person.

He didn't jabber on in meaningless jargon, but quickly and efficiently ran me through the steps to take. That lead him to discover that the problem was somewhere at their end, they'd cut my connection somehow. (I expect someone tripped over a wire and pulled the plug out).

He said he'd get the engineers working on it and I should have my connection back within two hours.

In fact it was less than one hour.

The only part of the exercise I wasn't totally happy with was the call from the engineer to make sure I had the connection back.

That was at 6.30 this morning, just a tad early I thought.

The oxymoron of customer service

There's a nice 'what the customers say vs what the company says' in Gulf News today which sums up customer service Dubai style.

I've described it before as: we give them our money and they decide whether to give us anything in return, what and when it will be. We must not complain and they don't need to apologise or explain.

In the two items Etisalat customers say:

A banker was recently kept on hold 20 minutes before the customer support representative picked up her call, not knowing that the number she had called was not a toll-free one.

Upon discovering how much she was charged for the call, she demanded to be compensated for the lost credit. "Why should I be paying to wait for them?"

She was told that the matter would be looked into but said she never received a response.

A subscriber of the company's Al Shamil DSL service called technical support at 4am and was told after a half-an-hour wait that the person responsible had left the office for the night.

An Al Shamil subscriber had an intermittent connection for five days, had lodged a complaint "many times" but received no response.

"I called them with a complaint and was given a reference number and told that a technician would call me. I never received the call so I called Etisalat back and was told that my complaint had never been registered," he said, adding that he waited for two more days but no technician called.

Another says: "For a whole year, I had an intermittent DSL connection. Every time I called Etisalat I was told that my complaint has been filed and I should expect a call and a visit from a technician soon. The technician came a year later after a number of calls and a demand for compensation," he said.

Yet another says: when he had difficulty accessing the internet Etisalat said a technician would call within a week. "It's been more than ten days now."

Etisalat says:

On average, the waiting time for internet customers is between 2 and 3 minutes.

Etisalat has provided alternate methods of getting in touch with its customer service staff which can be utilised during peak times.

Recent improvements in customer support levels have been acknowledged by customers "in writing".


And for all of us who think we've been struggling with unbelievably slow or intermittent service over the last few days - we're wrong.

Etisalat says:

There is no general outage in internet connections in any part of the UAE

There have been no "major issues apart from individual cases".

Khalifa Al Shamsi, Vice-President Marketing, said that the network had been performing very well.

So will you all please stop complaining, pay your outrageous perfectly reasonable bills every month and leave Etisalat in peace so they can continue to provide us with their marvellous service.


The stories are here and here.

The service misnomer.

A few days ago I ended a post about customer service in Dubai with:

"We pay the money, the company decides whether to give us anything in return, what it is, when they'll give it to us and what condition it's in."

On that subject I thought it was worth highlighting a couple of comments proving the point left on my last post...

i*maginate said...
Strange you mention Etisalat coz Du connection showed the same message but I notice only for about 30 mins between 1am and 2am, maybe on and off at various times throughout the w-e. Called DU guy and he guessed my query before I completed it (implying loads of complaints) and said 'upgrading server' so I said did you give notice of this? He said no... I said how long...he said "don't know"....

Susan said...
We've been having problems with a Duh connection every afternoon for the past couple of months. It's almost impossible to get online at all after 2pm! Duh engineers say its because too many people are trying to access.That's why in our house its called the "Internot"

See, we pay for service that the company simply doesn't provide. In explanation, apology or compensation for not providing what we've paid them for...nothing.

Customer care, Dubai style

Ah that's better, we're back to normal.

The good service I posted about a couple of days ago was just a blip in the normal standard of customer care and service.

Today Gulf News brings us the story of bugs in beans.

A tourist was disgusted to find live bugs crawling in a sealed packet of beans...he returned the packet, which was crawling with around 100 live bugs.

That's when he found out about true Dubai-style customer care.

After reporting the infestation to the manufacturer's customer helpline, he was outraged when told that it was a good thing.

"I rang the number to complain and they told me it was a good thing that bugs were eating the beans, because it meant the food was tasty."

Yep, that's the normal arrangement. We pay the money, the company decides whether to give us anything in return, what it is, when they'll give it to us and what condition it's in. Resistance is futile.

Welcome to Dubai.



You can read the story here.

Good service from Etisalat

Now that's something I never imagined I'd be saying.

Here's the story: we decided to change to Wi-Fi at home, so yesterday morning went into Etisalat at Jebel Ali.

The guy at reception was knowledgeable and helpful, we filled in a couple of items such as 'User Name' on a form, he gave us a numbered ticket.

Less than a minute later our number was called, again the person we saw was knowledgeable and helpful - and very pleasant - and it took him a couple of minutes to enter information into the computer.

The whole process took less than five minutes.

That was yesterday. This morning at seven the phone rang. The engineer would be with us in fifteen minutes to instal the new modem, if that was OK.

It was.

Even more amazing, he knew his way to our building and didn't need any instructions.

Fifteen minutes later he was doing the job, fifteen minutes after that he'd finished.

I thought it was worth recording.

Sorry, it's another rant.

Feel free to ignore this, I'm just venting my frustration at the way companies here inconvenience us, waste our time and money.

I'm sure we all have many examples of the syndrome - having to go in person, not being able to make appointments etc - but here's my latest.

Background: my car insurance includes a very useful Vehicle Registration Service - they take the car for its annual registration.

Great, that'll save me best part of a day messing around getting to & from plus all the aggro. of doing paperwork here.

Except that when he was bringing it back to me, the driver called to say an idiot had run into the back of my newly re-registered car.

I have to take the car with the police report, copies of my registration card & driving licence, the insurance policy, to the Mazda dealer Galadari so that they can give an estimate.

I'm in Dubai Marina, they are on Al Ittihad Road, not only the other side of Dubai but - literally - in the middle of the disaster that is the new interchange under construction near the airport.

I fight the traffic and the roadworks all the way, they give me the car back after an hour of fiddling around and I fight the traffic and the roadworks back to Dubai Marina. Over three hours of my life have disappeared.

That's not the problem, here's where the typical Dubai company don't-give-a-damn-about-the-customer starts.

After they've received the estimate the insurance company wants to check it against the damage. That's OK too.

Galadari Mazda tell me to take the car in before 7.30am Sunday, which is when the insurance company inspects the cars. If that's too early for me I can leave it there before 5pm Saturday. They will call me "sometime on Sunday" when the inspection's done and I can collect the car.

So I'm to be without the car for that time and either have to pay for a hire car or taxis for two days. We have to get from and to Galadari, get to work on Sunday morning, two of us moving around but without the car.

Mrs Seabee has a friend of a friend at the insurance company, calls, discovers their man will actually be at Galadari around mid-day Sunday. I drive there then, he takes two photos, I drive away within 5 minutes.

No hire car, no taxis, no leaving my car at the dealer for a day and a night as I would have done had I listened to Galadari.

It simpy doesn't occur to them to try to give customer service. To make appointments, to tell the customer when the assessor will be there, to save their customer large slices of time, money and inconvenience.

A day in Dubai...

On Sunday, after three weeks on holiday I said: Just got back to Dubai - it's nice to be back too.

Then today dawned.

Even before I'd had my coffee - not the way I want to start my days - the day jumped up and bit me.

The car was booked in for service so I drove from Media City to Galadari Mazda on Al Ittihad Road. The traffic was heavy but moving...until I hit the disaster the RTA has turned Al Ittihad Road into. Murphy's Law - Galadari Mazda is slap-bang in the middle of the disaster area.

I eventually got through it and then the usual nonsense - for a simple, mundane, ordinary service: the car will be ready tomorrow sir.

Tomorrow!! Forget it, it's today or nothing.

I've had many different cars serviced in different countries and never has it taken more than a few hours. Not even when extras need to be done, such as new brakes or other parts. But not Galadari Mazda.

Anyway, ranting is the way to get things done in Dubai, so I ranted and eventually 'later today' was agreed.

I eventually got my first coffee of the day at 11am.

Boy, it tasted good.

Afternoon and the taxi I'd booked turned up on time.

But.

Sheikh Zayed Road was jammed.

Emirates Road was jammed.

Al Khail Road was jammed.

The airport tunnel was jammed.

Al Ittihad Road was its usual gridlocked disaster.

Two hours later we were sitting in a jam close to Galadari Mazda so I payed the driver and abandoned the cab. Walking was quicker.

The car was ready, the computer was down so I wasted half an hour standing around the service centre reception.

The drive back was reasonable - again heavy traffic but moving.

And here I am, having done very little today, just logging on to try to catch up with my blogger friends, sort out the rest of the holiday photos, read the papers, and write to Mazda in Japan to ask them to get stuck into the non-service service department of their Dubai representative.

A 'good service' story!

Parked near the cafe for my early morning two-double-espressos, trotted out of the cafe when I'd finished, jumped into the car, turned the key...nothing.

Not even a suggestion that it was going to start.

Lights, radio, windows all worked, which suggested it wasn't the battery. Starter motor? Probably.

I have insurance with AXA which gives me breakdown recovery, so I called the number. Gave the details, they said the recovery people would call within 10 minutes.

Guess what? They did!

They'd had a few call-outs and were busy but they'd be there as soon as possible.

One hour later the driver called my mobile - he was close by and wanted precise details of where I was parked marooned. He told me the Dubai depot fleet was all tied up so he was from the Sharjah depot. He'd made it from Sharjah to Knowledge Village in an hour at 9am. Amazing.

I'd called the dealer, Galadari Mazda, to tell them the car was on the way. They said they were fully booked today but they'd inspect it tomorrow.

Fair enough.

At 3pm they called: "Mr Seabee, your car needs a new battery. Give me the go-ahead and it'll be ready for you at 4pm."

I called for a taxi, which turned up in ten minutes, got to Galadari at 4pm and there was my car, fixed, ready and waiting.

Not much of a story, but I complain when service isn't up to scratch so it's only fair that I acknowledge this good service delivery.

Company attitude...

Just a quick follow-on from my rant about companies taking our money but not expecting to provide anything in return.

Our fake alternative telco, du, has announced that:

"...it will allow new customers to register for mobile numbers starting on November 26, but details about pricing and its launch may have to wait until January."

Go to their website and they tell you nothing. Cliches, jargon, mission statements, all the usual press release phrases trotted out again. But information? What are they actually going to provide, when and for how much? Forget it.

But they will "allow" customers to register for mobile numbers from next week. They say: "Under a campaign beginning next week entitled "055 my number," etisalat customers wishing to switch to du may carry over their seven digit number at a cost of Dh100.

Why would anyone switch when we don't know what, when or the cost?

Yet another example of 'you give us your money, we'll decide later what we'll give you in return.'

The announcement was carried in Gulf News.

Service? In your dreams.

An example of typical Dubai service levels.

We pay a ridiculous amount every month for First Net TV. We watch a couple of hours a week of the rare watchable programmes amongst the ancient repeat dross. You know, the programmes featuring up-and-coming young actors who actually are now retirees or dead. I pay extra to watch English Premier League, four matches a week.

Oh, and they don't even bother to publish a programme guide so that their paying customers know what's on.

'You give us your money, we give you as little as possible in return'.

On Friday the TV dies on us. No reception of any channels.

We call First Net. They direct us to their service representatives EuroStar.

They say they'll send a technician betwen 24 and 48 hours later. Not a good example of service so far, we are after all paying for something that they're no longer supplying.

Around 36 hours later two technicians - I use the term loosely - arrive. They do exactly what I've been doing, which is use the remote to re-programme the set.

Surprise, surprise! They get the same result as me. Nothing.

The meter comes out, they plug in, mutter to each other and tell me the fault is in the building.

"Call the real estate company to fix it". And they walk towards the door.

Me: "That's it?"

*Shrug*

Me: "I pay a lot of money for TV which I'm not getting and you just walk away?"

Them: "You don't pay for service."

This is the second time in less than six months that I've called First Net because reception disappeared. The second time they've referred me to Euro Star as their 'service representative'. The second time I've been rudely told by their 'technicians' that I don't pay for service.

I honestly believe that the only answer to this kind of arrogant, pig-ignorant attitude is a firm smack in the mouth.

I am so close. Instead I say: "I pay for TV reception, I am not getting TV reception. I don't have to pay extra for 'service' to give me what I've already paid in advance for."

*Shrug*

They walk away.

Not only is a smack in the mouth the only thing that will make them understand that arrogance and ignorance is unacceptable, it's the only way they'll learn not to turn their backs on a customer and walk away.

I am fuming at the fact that companies take our money but don't give us what we've paid for. And more so at the rudeness, the lack of manners, the arrogance of their employees.

I manage to do no more than fume.

I call EuroStar and get a 'customer service executive'.

I tell him the problem. That is, I'm not getting the TV reception I'm paying for, the 'technicians' don't know what to do, tell me not to expect any service and simply walk away. I tell him the other apartments in the building have no problem.

The 'customer service executive' isn't listening, obviously. He tells me I probably need to put the dish higher than the surrounding buildings. I tell him it's already as high as it can be on the roof and in any case no-one else is having a problem.

He tells me the dish is no good and I need to get Tecom or E-Vision to do a cable installation.

I tell him that it is an E-Vision installation.

He tells me that my subscription runs out on November 30, so I can either simply not renew or I can cancel it from today.

So much for companies giving you what you pay for.

As if proof was needed...

We're all only too aware that 'customer service' is an oxymoron in Dubai, particularly with bigger companies.

This little item in sums up the attitude perfectly:

Football fans were in the dark last night as World Cup broadcaster ART offered English commentary on an Arabic channel showing the time and score for the Spain vs Ukraine match, then promptly removed it for Saudi Arabia vs Tunisia.

World Cup 1, which normally only has Arabic commentary, offered an English option for the Spain match, but most fans were unaware and tuned into English-language World Cup 3, which still did not have the score or time on screen last night.

To add to the confusion, ART refused to explain exactly what is going on, despite repeated requests.

Since kicking off our ‘What’s The Score?’ campaign on Tuesday, 7DAYS has received hundreds of faxes from frustrated football fans who want the time and score shown on English-language matches.

7DAYS attempted to deliver your petitions to ART’s offices in the Jebel Ali Free Zone yesterday, but was told that the only man who could receive them was in the company’s office on Sheikh Zayed Road. Staff then said they “couldn’t remember” where that office was.

Customers get sub-standard service......that's normal.
Ask what's going on & they ignore you...that's normal.
Try complaining & get the run-around...that's normal.

Not much of a story is it, it's just all so perfectly normal in the Dusty City.

Stone Age communications.

I'm getting more and more irritated at the bloody stone age 'service' that we get from Etisalat. Over ten years ago my dial-up service in Australia was a hell of a lot faster than this so-called broadband.

When is the UAE going to drag itself into the 21st Century with communications?

It's a mindset that goes beyond just the out-of-touch and out-of-date Etisalat. We have the out-of-date and inefficient nonsense of total reliance on mobile phones. Web sites are out of date, anything up to literally years; no-one bothers to answer e-mails; no access to VOiP; the slowest downloads you can imagine.

We get deluged with publicity about state-of-the-art, cutting edge, Dubai a city for and of the 21st Century, a great place to relocate your business, a great place to do business blah blah blah.

It's all just so much garbage. We're twenty years behind.