Truth in advertising

I came across this offer on the Birmingham (UK) International Airport site.



It's offering a holiday in Dubai...but staying at a hotel in Ras Al Khaimah.

Surely it should be saying "Ras Al Khaimah from £899pp"?

I'd have thought that people being offered a holiday in Dubai would expect...well...a holiday in Dubai.

Staying about 100 kilometres from where you're supposed to be holidaying might come as something of a surprise.



I found the ad here.

'There's nothing like Australia' tourism advertisement

There's nothing like Tourism Australia either, for getting their ads wrong.

They've done it again with their latest international commercial, which is supposed to convince people to visit Oz.

They've got it badly wrong. Yet again.

In fact the last time they got it right was way back in the Crocodile Dundee era with Paul Hogan's 'Shrimp on the barbie' ad.

This latest one, from their ad agency DDB Sydney, has just been revealed and it's a shocker.

The visuals are good for an international audience but the soundtrack is as bad as it could be.

Banal. Hackneyed. Horribly dated. Embarrasing.

They need to change it. Immediately. Before it's released.

The pests are back

Spam phone calls seem to be back in fashion, and they annoy the hell out of me.

Mrs Seabee tells me she's recently been getting calls from banks offering her credit cards.

Just like before the big crash. Proving yet again that people never learn from their mistakes.

Yesterday I was in a friend's office when his mobile rang. He was offered 'financial investment solutions' from a very persistent telesales person.

I've had one this morning too, trying to make an appointment for a 'financial advisor'.

She wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, suggested that if I was looking after my own finances I didn't know what I was doing and became quite aggressive.

My last firm 'no' produced the reply that I had 'the wrong end of the stick' and I did need financial advice.

Apart from the irritation of unsolicited sales calls to my phone and aggressive sales people, the product they're selling has lost all credibility over the past couple of years hasn't it?

The proposition is that the financial industry can give me advice on how best to handle my finances.

Oh yeah?

An apology from Etisalat!

A company lets its customers down by not delivering the service it promises and for which they pay.

It apologises publicly.

Hardly worth commenting on.....except in this area where the normal procedure is to say nothing hoping that ignoring the problem will make it go away. Only if pushed do you then comment, to deny that any problem exists.

I came across this full page ad in Gulf News this morning:



So for once a thumbs up for Etisalat, for at least breaking with tradition, admitting there was a problem and apologising.

Irresistible!

What an offer! Buy one and you get one.

Another stroll down Memory Lane

My postings on Old Dubai are always popular and I've been fossicking around to see what I have with me from my time here in the seventies & eighties.

I've found some more photographs which I'm sorting out and I'll try to post them in the near future.

Meanwhile, I came across a couple of books from the early eighties, which some of you may remember. Both were published by what is now Motivate but then was called What's On Publishing.

This was published in June 1984, written and photographed by another friend, Bob Milne Home, who was then Marketing & Tours Manager at DNATA.

Friendships made in Dubai have lasted I'm pleased to say. Bob's been back in the UK for a long time now but we keep in regular contact. We've visited him in his very nice old cottage in the UK and we also had dinner with him when he visited Dubai a couple of months ago on a short business trip.

He used to write a column in the early 'What's On' magazine and then put together this excellent book.

The other book I found was this one, published in February 1983 and compiled by Bryn Jones, a stalwart of Dubai Radio's Morning Show.

A regular feature of the show was the 'Dubai Diners Delight' segment, which featured recipes sent in by listeners. It was so popular that it was decided to put a selection of the recipes into a book.

In addition to the huge variety of recipes the book carries advertisements which are fascinating to look at. Here's what the Dubai Metropolitan on Sheikh Zayed Road, then simply called Abu Dhabi Road, looked like back then...

Hotels featured strongly in the advertising and here are two familiar landmarks:

Leisure facilities were fewer back then, but a foretaste of what was to come twenty years later...

Dubai's first mall, then known as the largest building in the Middle East, had a favourite children's area...

Other ads give some indication of the lack of sophistication in the advertising industry, because it was still very much pioneering days in the early eighties...

The DNATA book has some excellent photographs, Bob being a very gifted photographer as well as writer.

One of my favourites amongst his thousands of shots is this one of the Trade Centre, then our tallest building and the best known landmark.

"Return to Dubai Airport Free Zone Authority Station please"

Snappy name isn't it, for one of the Metro stations.

What about Sharaf DG Station.

And GGICO Station.

Mr Mattar Al Tayer, Chairman of the Board and Executive Director of the RTA, is quoted as saying these are: "...national projects and will preserve the national identity. We will not give up the national identity for money."

Just so.


The fascinating list of station names is in the Gulf News story, here.

What you see...

...is often not what you get.

Particularly with real estate advertising in Dubai.

This is the artist's rendering of The Jewels in Dubai Marina.

They look great and they're sitting in a park with views all around.



The actual buildings look just as they did in the drawing, but I wonder how many of the owners who bought off-plan are not so happy about that promise of greenery and views all around.



I don't know whether RERA, or the advertising industry itself, has looked into accuracy in advertising...

World's biggest fish?

According to the copywriter "Standing tall in the heart of Dubai Maritime City will be the new architectural marvel Amwaj. A shining light for conglomerates aspiring to embark on their next business destination, the next level."

I need help with this...

Copywriters cause me all sorts of problems when I read their ads.

Here's the copy in a full page ad from Emirates Palace. I can get past the "guaranty", the 'going sunny side up', the 'hot suite offer' and 'bring your summer to a simmering sizzle' rubbish.

But you'll have to help me out with the reason that Le Vendome is 'infamous'.

Anyone?

Be very afraid.

I've just been reading the Sydney Morning Herald and found this story.

The US Dunkin' Donuts chain has pulled an online advertisement featuring celebrity chef Rachael Ray, it says.

Here's the ad that had to be pulled:



Well, you would pull it wouldn't you.

Supporting terrorism as it does.



Uhhh?



Yes, "the ad offers symbolic support for terrorism."


What do you mean you can't see what they're frothing at the mouth about?


Here's a clue..."sporting of a jihadi chic keffiyeh"


Jihadi chic! I nearly fell off my chair.


Critics, including conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, complained that the scarf appeared to be traditional garb worn by Arab men. The ad's critics say such scarves have come to symbolise Muslim extremism and terrorism.

These people terrify me. More so because they come from the world's most powerful country, with armed forces that its government is happy to use on a whim.

It's not so much the far-right extremists, paranoid loonies frothing at the mouth when they see things that aren't there, who frighten me. Every country has some of them and they're best ignored. As are the far left fanatics, religious fanatics and fanatics of all persuasions.

But in the good ol' US of A a huge company like DD is running scared of them. What does that say about the climate of fear, where the society they live in finds itself?

The lunatic fringe makes a fevered infantile accusation and it's taken seriously. The company buckles at the accusation and pulls the ad.

They should have threatened legal action for the libel of accusing them of supporting terrorism, demanded a grovelling written apology acknowledging the crass stupidity of the accusation, and run a campaign in the media to expose and ridicule the loonies.

Critics, including conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, complained that the scarf appeared to be traditional garb worn by Arab men. So are sandals. Will wearing sandals come to symbolise extremism and terrorism to these people?

Concede to demands by fanatics and where will it end? The situation will worsen with every win they have.

And since the ad was withdrawn, Michelle Malkin has had this to say on her blog:

It's refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists...Fashion statements may seem insignificant, but when they lead to the mainstreaming of violence -- unintentionally or not -- they matter. Ignorance is no longer an excuse. In post-9/11 America, vigilance must never go out of style.

At this point I'm speechless.



The story is here.

"...in the architectural epitome..."

My favourite copywriter has another offering in today's Vakson ad for villas at "The Lakes. Nature's Signature".

Sadly, it looks as though the deadline arrived before s/he was able to finish the last sentence.

I'd like to share it with you:

Talking of copywriting...

There's some purple prose in today's ad for "Le Grande. The retail splendour at Marina" which is "An itiative by Trident International Holdings" who, they tell us, are "Creating new benchmarks in luxury living"



Just a fraction OTT perhaps?

'Solution' is back.

"experiential solution"

How's that for an example of buzzing, of using breathlessly-trendy buzz words that actually hide whatever it was the speaker was trying to get across.

It's in EmBiz247 today, in a story about the largest advertising window wrap in the region.

Window wrap? It means a 40-storey building in Media City is covered in a vast advertisement.

CEO of the company responsible is quoted as saying:

"...identifying a 'real estate' based advertising opportunity for a leading real estate developer such as ACI is the kind of experiential solution Ströer Concept Outdoor believes in..."

Don't ask, I have no idea what it means.


Story plus pic is here.

More fascinating copywriting...

My new favourite copywriter seems to have a series of ads coming for Vakson real estate.

Following Saturday's ad which I posted, here's today's offering in EmBiz247:

Love those copywriters!

The heading on a Vakson ad. offering properties for sale in today's EmBiz247

An April Fool joke?

It's April 1st, so stories in the media should be treated with a little more scepticism than usual.

The story that has me wondering is this - Gulf News' headline sums it up well:

"Metro stations and lines open for corporate branding".

I can't decide whether it's true or a send-up.

On the one hand, which suggests it's true, I posted about it back in February when it was first announced. And yesterday it appeared again in Gulf News.

On the other, which makes it suspect, the story appears today, April 1st, in both Gulf News and EmBiz247 newspapers but I can't find them on their respective websites. That means, of course, that the stories could have been pulled.

If it's a hoax it's elaborate, time-consuming and Very Important People are involved.

What the hard-copy stories are saying is that 23 Metro stations and two lines are being offered for corporate branding, available for a minimum of ten years. There is selection criteria, naturally.

This could add much-needed style, elegance and class to Dubai's overall look you know.

We have plenty of examples in Australia, which could give ideas to corporate sponsors.

In Australia we have 'bigs' - all kinds of businesses, towns even, have built very large fibreglass 'bigs' to promote themselves.

In the banana-growing area of Coffs Harbour, for example, we have...The Big Banana:



It's the main entrance to a banana plantation and is part of the retail section which sells all kinds of stuff with a banana theme.

That could be an idea for Spinney Station perhaps. They meet the criteria laid down for sponsorship.

Then up in Queensland there's...the Big Pineapple:



Same deal - part of the entrance and retail section of a pineapple plantation.

Maybe that could be a thought for Choitram Station. They also meet the criteria.

There are many other role models our local companies could check on for ideas. I particularly like the very stylish and elegant Big Prawn...



The green and red Metro lines are available for naming rights, the story says. That presumably would be a hefty amount, so very large international companies would be the likely sponsors.

We could soon be travelling on the Coco-Cola Line, changing at Choitram Station to get onto the MacDonald Line to travel on to Masafi Water Station.

I can't wait.

This is a worry...

The lead story in Emirates Business 24/7 today is about the RTA putting out to tender the rights to sell advertising on the Metro system.

In the story is some really worrying information that I haven't seen before.

"Apart from the main contract for advertising inside and outside the Metro cars, separate concessions will be awarded for advertising on the Metro viaduct, pillars and stations...The viaduct will have lights and bright advertising signs. The same applies to the concrete pillars that support the viaduct."

Oh great. Bright advertising signs all over everything, that'll be classy.

But that's not all:

"RTA will offer rights to use Metro stations to selected companies, government and private departments and institutions for design and colour of stations...Civil Aviation Authority of Dubai will design and build two stations near the airport.They will carry the authority’s name. Also BurJuman shopping centre has won a concession to design and build the BurJuman station, which will carry its name. Dubai Holding has got a station of its own as well...Among 42 stations RTA will offer only 23 stations for sponsorship by other companies and bodies, while the remaining stations will maintain their design, which should be in harmony with the national identity of the UAE."

'Only 23'? That's more than half the stations designed and decorated by sponsor companies. Will they be 'in harmony with the national identity of the UAE' or in harmony with the advertising of the company...no prizes for getting the answer right.

Even in a country with a high standard of advertising creativity it would be appalling, but in Dubai I can't even begin to imagine how bad it's going to look.

The story's here.

EmBiz247 - the verdict

Emirates Business24/7 has published it's first week's issues and the pattern is set.

Being interested in business and business reporting, I thought I'd post my view on the new business paper.

In a mirror of its previous incarnation, the late Emirates Today, it's got just two things wrong.

Content and layout.

It's awful.

Bad design, re-hashed stories, boring writing, years out-of-date photographs.

And they just couldn't resist a tabloid section at the back, which has nothing to do with business.

Commercially it will be viable for a while yet. Today's 48 pages include 13 pages of advertisements, but that's par for the course in this area. Companies here advertise for very different reasons from their counterparts in more sophisticated markets.

Advertisers include the usual suspects plus some very odd ones, given the positioning of the paper and its obvious reader target.

There's a doozy, by the way, from our beloved RTA that sums up marketing communications here for me. A full page ad that tells us they're working on building a Metro rail system.

Whoda thought it!

We really could do with some authoritative, quality newspapers here. News dailies, business dailies in particular. What do we get instead? EmTod, 7Days, EmBiz247...

The War on Jargon

I suppose 'jargon' is the wrong word. It's buzz words and buzz phrases really, the stuff that's used more and more in business by not-very-good people who think it will make them appear clever and knowlegeable.

I'm going to call it 'buzzing' in future.

I've ranted a couple of times recently about examples I've come across here - my doomed campaign to try to make the users see the stupidity, the pointlessness, of it. To see what appalling marketing it is.

Anyway, in the London Financial Times there are some great examples in a column by the business commentator Lucy Kellaway.

Going around for a day with a professional headhunter, she pretended to also be one. At the end of the day she asked whether the real headhunter would offer her a job. "No, because you say what you think" she was told.

Pretty well sums up buzzing - don't under any circumstances let people know what you're talking about. The great art of miscommunication prevails.

Lucy goes on with some classics. For example, she comments that "...recently I have started to feel less bruised about the rejection. Talking my mind may have ruled me out as a headhunter, but now saying anything that even makes sense disqualifies one from joining what practitioners call the "executive search space".

Modern headhunters spout as much guff as management consultants, but without the excuse. Consultants have to, to hide the fact that it often isn't clear what they're selling. Headhunters are selling something pukka so there's no reason why they can't come right out and say so.

The examples she quotes are mind-numbing.

Remember that what these companies actually do, the reason they are hired and paid, is find the right person for the right job.

Simple, direct, explanatory, crystal clear. That's what they do.

What do they say they do?

Korn Ferry describes itself as "The premier provider of human capital solutions".

Heidrick & Struggles says "as innovators, we are actively redefining top-level search to encompass complementary services".

Michael Page says "Our journey starts when we see a difference between where we are today and where we want to be".

An aquaintance went to a headhunter to find a new Managing Director. He told her the introductory e-mail from them said: "As a Leading Total Talent Solution Provider, we have some special assessment tools to help identify the 'right' candidate."

Lucy's column is worth reading in full and you can find it here.