Thursday, February 07, 2008

The Case Of The Bulletproof Sheep

One for Poirot or Sherlock Holmes methinks.

Or Monty Python.

In a case at the Dubai Court of Misdemeanours yesterday the defence lawyer said he would be calling witnesses to confirm his client's claim that a sheep became bulletproof when an onyx stone was placed around its neck.

The defendant shot the sheep four times without harming him.

Now I know what you're thinking - he's a poor shot and missed the animal, but that's not the case.

The sheep was protected by an onyx stone with supernatural powers.

The owner of the stone advertised it for sale in an Arabic newspaper, a real bargain at only Dh1.8 billion (US$490 million). He'll let you test the powers of the stone if you leave a Dh500 million deposit, and what could be fairer than that.

In a statement to the court the defendant insisted:

"I didn't swindle or cheat anyone. I am not a cheat.

I had a stall at Global Village where I displayed precious stones, including the onyx. I asked the police to try the stone before confiscating it and arresting me. They refused. I brought it with me from Yemen."

See, he had a stall at Global Village and he brought the stone from Yemen. Who could question the innocence of a man with those credentials?

But more than that, he offered to let the police test the stone's magic powers. How could they possibly have refused such a tempting offer?

In spite of all the factors in his favour it seems he'll just have to produce the expert witnesses to confirm his claim.

Or perhaps the court will be persuaded by the defence lawyer who said:

"If it necessary then I will demand the court makes an experiment to prove that because he has witnesses who saw it."

Could the final scene be the Clerk of Court bringing a sheep back from the market into court, a police officer draws his pistol...

Reports in Gulf News and


Lirun said...


Rose in Dubai said...

Its one of the things that makes life worth living here. The complete and total whackiness is just wonderful and hopefully will never stop!

Stll think they should try the stone out on the lawyer though :-)

Anonymous said...


Dubai Classifieds said...

I saw this post in another Dubai blog. It's funny to learn how extreme people would think in bizaare ways. I mean how would you test a bulletproof stone on someone? So if it fails, he would be like "Dammit, it's not that precious of a stone after all. Sorry my friend not bulletproof enough"

On a different note, the Global Village has several amazing stalls. I think consumers should now be aware of hoax merchants though.

kaya said...

hahahahahah! Thats brilliant. I want that stone.
But why would anyone want to shoot a sheep? And if it protected the sheep could it do the same for a human?
The plot gets positively glutinous.