I know it’s probably not their fault because they’re told to do it, but sales assistants invading my personal space are not only infuriating, they’re counter-productive. (Pun intended). Try to look at, say, a suit on display, step back and you tread on a sales assistant. Turn round and s/he is six inches away, smiling, trying to help, but right in your face.
Hey, owners and managers - do you know how many times I’ve walked out of your shop because of it? I’m ready to give you my money and they harassed me away.
The problem is obviously with the senior people who train them. What a pity no-one trained the trainers in effective customer service. They could have passed it on and they wouldn’t be losing sales.
The words to remember are ‘unobtrusive’ and ‘available’.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Needless waste of a young life
Yet another one. A little child gone before he could experience life, fulfil who-knows-what potential.
Killed by his cretin of a father.
Piece the various newspaper reports together and the story is that the criminally stupid father was driving at 100kph in a 60kph zone. He hit the back of a pick-up truck, the child in the back seat smashed his head on the front seat, which would also suggest he wasn’t restrained safely.
An innocent child, totally reliant on the adults around him, trusting them to care for him. The father, who one report said is a teacher, God help us, should be charged with murder.
Monday, April 24, 2006
"Let's go for a nice drive"
We really need a police presence on the wonderful new Al Sufouh Road. I’ve never seen any, other than at the scene of accidents.
This morning was fairly typical. A sports car, let’s say for argument’s sake, something like, oh I don’t know, let’s say, hypothetically, an Aston Martin Vantage convertible. Slows for the red light. Then quite deliberately drives through it. Pedal to the metal and screams away through the 80 zone, picking up speed all the time through the 60 zone, stamping on the brakes for the new turn-off flyover to Dubai.
Meanwhile, I wait for the light to go green, go when it changes and nearly get wiped out by a pick-up doing an illegal U-turn. It’s so common at the particular junction that I expect it, so I’m prepared and take evasive action.
I’m in the right hand lane at the speed limit of 80 and grudgingly put up with the moron in the huge truck a few millimetres behind me flashing his lights. Did I stop the car, drag him from his cab and politely suggest that he stopped doing it? Nah. I clenched the wheel, gritted my teeth, counted to ten, several times, and ignored him.
Didn’t I do well.
This morning was fairly typical. A sports car, let’s say for argument’s sake, something like, oh I don’t know, let’s say, hypothetically, an Aston Martin Vantage convertible. Slows for the red light. Then quite deliberately drives through it. Pedal to the metal and screams away through the 80 zone, picking up speed all the time through the 60 zone, stamping on the brakes for the new turn-off flyover to Dubai.
Meanwhile, I wait for the light to go green, go when it changes and nearly get wiped out by a pick-up doing an illegal U-turn. It’s so common at the particular junction that I expect it, so I’m prepared and take evasive action.
I’m in the right hand lane at the speed limit of 80 and grudgingly put up with the moron in the huge truck a few millimetres behind me flashing his lights. Did I stop the car, drag him from his cab and politely suggest that he stopped doing it? Nah. I clenched the wheel, gritted my teeth, counted to ten, several times, and ignored him.
Didn’t I do well.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Service, what service?
We've all been here right? A piece in an Aussie newspaper on what's ironically called 'customer service'. It confirms yet again that it's not, in spite of what many complaints here seem to suggest, something unique to the sandlands.
Customer service truly is an oxymoron
By TORY MAGUIRE
April 22, 2006
I SCARED myself the other day. I was standing in the middle of the office on my mobile phone so incandescent with rage my heart rate was elevated and I had to struggle to keep my voice down.
I had never met the woman at the other end of the phone and I am ashamed to say I was so apoplectic I forgot to ask what her name was. We talked for perhaps five minutes and in that time she managed to reduce a mostly sane person into a raving lunatic. What was she doing? Providing customer service.
Perhaps in my old age I am getting more demanding but in the past month I have had so many people, whose job description lists at the very top "provide service to customers", treat me like a moron that this week I finally snapped.
I don't think I can go anywhere near a major department store, furniture outlet or whitegoods emporium for at least six months – or at least until I can hear the words "No, that is not in our procedures" without losing the plot.
The woman who finally sent me over the edge admittedly came at the end of a long line of frustrations but you won't believe what she said to me. I was trying to arrange delivery of a gift that had been bought for us by a friend, who had already paid for delivery. She wanted me to pay again and when I protested she said: "I have already done enough of a favour for you by not tearing up this order and throwing it in the bin." I am serious.
Apparently the definition of good customer service these days is not smashing your already purchased goods on the floor. I did manage not to swear at her and asked that she ring me the next day when I had calmed down. I am still waiting.
When I got off the phone colleagues consoled me with their own horror stories. One is still waiting for new credit cards eight weeks after his old ones expired and no one in the customer service department of the major bank he uses seems too interested in serving this particular customer.
Another is being stalked by a roofing company, who is persistently demanding he and his wife arrange a 2½ hour window of time at their home for this company to deliver its hard sell.
And my personal favourite – when some name stamps for his daughter were delivered with the wrong spelling, after four weeks they had still not heard from the supplier. When they finally got through, the customer service woman explained it was company policy not to leave messages as husbands tended not to pass them on to their wives.
If it wasn't so utterly frustrating it would be hilarious. But it is not funny. We have enough to deal with in life without officious control freaks masquerading as people who care about their customers driving us crazy.
They need to be supported by organisations that allow some level of flexibility in those oft-relied on procedures and they need to understand the impact they have on people when they say: "No, that can't be done" because what they really mean is, "You might have saved up your hard-earned cash to buy this product, but we simply don't care".
I have a comment about our kind of customer service, but I'll save that for another day.
Customer service truly is an oxymoron
By TORY MAGUIRE
April 22, 2006
I SCARED myself the other day. I was standing in the middle of the office on my mobile phone so incandescent with rage my heart rate was elevated and I had to struggle to keep my voice down.
I had never met the woman at the other end of the phone and I am ashamed to say I was so apoplectic I forgot to ask what her name was. We talked for perhaps five minutes and in that time she managed to reduce a mostly sane person into a raving lunatic. What was she doing? Providing customer service.
Perhaps in my old age I am getting more demanding but in the past month I have had so many people, whose job description lists at the very top "provide service to customers", treat me like a moron that this week I finally snapped.
I don't think I can go anywhere near a major department store, furniture outlet or whitegoods emporium for at least six months – or at least until I can hear the words "No, that is not in our procedures" without losing the plot.
The woman who finally sent me over the edge admittedly came at the end of a long line of frustrations but you won't believe what she said to me. I was trying to arrange delivery of a gift that had been bought for us by a friend, who had already paid for delivery. She wanted me to pay again and when I protested she said: "I have already done enough of a favour for you by not tearing up this order and throwing it in the bin." I am serious.
Apparently the definition of good customer service these days is not smashing your already purchased goods on the floor. I did manage not to swear at her and asked that she ring me the next day when I had calmed down. I am still waiting.
When I got off the phone colleagues consoled me with their own horror stories. One is still waiting for new credit cards eight weeks after his old ones expired and no one in the customer service department of the major bank he uses seems too interested in serving this particular customer.
Another is being stalked by a roofing company, who is persistently demanding he and his wife arrange a 2½ hour window of time at their home for this company to deliver its hard sell.
And my personal favourite – when some name stamps for his daughter were delivered with the wrong spelling, after four weeks they had still not heard from the supplier. When they finally got through, the customer service woman explained it was company policy not to leave messages as husbands tended not to pass them on to their wives.
If it wasn't so utterly frustrating it would be hilarious. But it is not funny. We have enough to deal with in life without officious control freaks masquerading as people who care about their customers driving us crazy.
They need to be supported by organisations that allow some level of flexibility in those oft-relied on procedures and they need to understand the impact they have on people when they say: "No, that can't be done" because what they really mean is, "You might have saved up your hard-earned cash to buy this product, but we simply don't care".
I have a comment about our kind of customer service, but I'll save that for another day.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Shakes head in despair
Al Urouba Street, Jumeirah this morning.
A large yellow tanker emblazoned with the words
DIESEL. DANGER. NO SMOKING.
Driver has left arm out of window, lighted cigarette dangling casually between fingers.
A large yellow tanker emblazoned with the words
DIESEL. DANGER. NO SMOKING.
Driver has left arm out of window, lighted cigarette dangling casually between fingers.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I'm confused...again.
Not for the first time, I don't understand.
I'd say it's pretty bloody obvious that violations numbers 2 to 10 fall very clearly under "General disregard for other road users." If they don't, what the hell does fall under that heading?
7Days lead story
Dubai police yesterday stated that “gross disregard” for other road-users was the leading cause of death on Dubai roads last year, causing 91 deaths and 502 injuries in 464 crashes.
The head of traffic police, Brigadier General Mohammad Al Zafeen said that an attitude of carelessness for others was responsible for almost every single road death in the city last year.
(BrigGen, I agree with you 100%, sir)
Excessive speeding was the second leading cause of death, leading to 53 fatalaties and 376 injuries. Other violations, such as not leaving enough breaking distance between cars and driving under the influence of alcohol, killed 28 people.
In total, last year saw 236 people die in 2,794 traffic accidents that left 2,566 injured, of which 1,037 were drivers, 968 passengers and 516 pedestrians, Al Zafeen said.
Earlier this month, police launched a clampdown campaign in which officers, in a fleet of 32 unmarked cars, pulled over errant drivers and fined them on the spot.
TEN MOST DEADLY VIOLATIONS
1. General disregard for other road users: 91 deaths, 502 injuries
2. Excessive speeding: 53 deaths, 376 injuries
3. Not leaving enough braking distance: 15 deaths, 247 injuries
4. Drunk driving: 13 deaths, 163 injuries
5. Merging into incoming traffic and sudden turns without using signals: 11 deaths each, and 438 injuries
6. Reckless and aggressive driving: 9 deaths, 84 injuries
7. Not abiding by lane discipline: 6 deaths, 215 injuries
8. Careless driving: 5 deaths, 96 injuries
9. Running a red light: 4 deaths, 261 injuries
10. Suddenly reversing and tailgating: 2 deaths each, and 48 injuries
See what I mean? Just about everything covered in 2 to 10, so what does 1 cover? Answers on the back of Dh500 note please.
I'd say it's pretty bloody obvious that violations numbers 2 to 10 fall very clearly under "General disregard for other road users." If they don't, what the hell does fall under that heading?
7Days lead story
Dubai police yesterday stated that “gross disregard” for other road-users was the leading cause of death on Dubai roads last year, causing 91 deaths and 502 injuries in 464 crashes.
The head of traffic police, Brigadier General Mohammad Al Zafeen said that an attitude of carelessness for others was responsible for almost every single road death in the city last year.
(BrigGen, I agree with you 100%, sir)
Excessive speeding was the second leading cause of death, leading to 53 fatalaties and 376 injuries. Other violations, such as not leaving enough breaking distance between cars and driving under the influence of alcohol, killed 28 people.
In total, last year saw 236 people die in 2,794 traffic accidents that left 2,566 injured, of which 1,037 were drivers, 968 passengers and 516 pedestrians, Al Zafeen said.
Earlier this month, police launched a clampdown campaign in which officers, in a fleet of 32 unmarked cars, pulled over errant drivers and fined them on the spot.
TEN MOST DEADLY VIOLATIONS
1. General disregard for other road users: 91 deaths, 502 injuries
2. Excessive speeding: 53 deaths, 376 injuries
3. Not leaving enough braking distance: 15 deaths, 247 injuries
4. Drunk driving: 13 deaths, 163 injuries
5. Merging into incoming traffic and sudden turns without using signals: 11 deaths each, and 438 injuries
6. Reckless and aggressive driving: 9 deaths, 84 injuries
7. Not abiding by lane discipline: 6 deaths, 215 injuries
8. Careless driving: 5 deaths, 96 injuries
9. Running a red light: 4 deaths, 261 injuries
10. Suddenly reversing and tailgating: 2 deaths each, and 48 injuries
See what I mean? Just about everything covered in 2 to 10, so what does 1 cover? Answers on the back of Dh500 note please.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Wouldn't the truth be nice...
Here's yet another example of misinformation. There's been huge publicity about the plastic cups of 50fils tea being banned, surveys, reader comments, cafes will go bust, workers won't be able to afford tea, the sky's falling in...
After all that we get:
“Plastic cups have not been banned in Dubai and will continue to be in use. We have simply instructed cafeterias and other establishments selling food items not to use cups that are not meant for hot beverages, whether plastic or any other material,” said Khalid Sharief, Assistant Director of Public Health Department and Head of Food Control Section.
“If it were a ban on plastic cups, the circulars would not have been sent to cafeterias but to dealers and manufacturers of such cups. You can describe the initiative as one that regulates the use of food packaging,” he said.
KT
Why are we constantly being fed information that is later denied or changed? Is it the standard of 'journalism'? The incompetence of the 'journalists'? The language being unclear? Officials changing the story after adverse publicity?
After all that we get:
“Plastic cups have not been banned in Dubai and will continue to be in use. We have simply instructed cafeterias and other establishments selling food items not to use cups that are not meant for hot beverages, whether plastic or any other material,” said Khalid Sharief, Assistant Director of Public Health Department and Head of Food Control Section.
“If it were a ban on plastic cups, the circulars would not have been sent to cafeterias but to dealers and manufacturers of such cups. You can describe the initiative as one that regulates the use of food packaging,” he said.
KT
Why are we constantly being fed information that is later denied or changed? Is it the standard of 'journalism'? The incompetence of the 'journalists'? The language being unclear? Officials changing the story after adverse publicity?
Friday, April 14, 2006
The saga continues...
Previously on The Saga of the Residence Visa…...we have Mrs Seabees interim residence visa, Mr Mansour of Jebel Ali Clinic didn't have the forms to do her medical, but they may be there the following day.
Mr Mansour went to the office the following day and had the vital forms with him. So we toddled off down there, Mrs Seabee had the blood test done. No waiting, very friendly, easy. Back the next day just after noon, the ‘all clear’ report plus her Health Card were waiting. Easy again. This can't go on!
Next day it was time to do battle at Immigration again. We had the interim visa, the medical all-clear, we’d paid the money, so now it was the final stage, getting the permanent residence visa stamped in her passport. Off we went, (not so) bright and early, even before my morning coffee.
That was the first bad move of the day.
The second was to go on Sheikh Zayed Road – quicker I thought. And it would have been had I not chosen the wrong one of the five available lanes and missed the turn-off. That meant I had to do a tour of the city and get snarled up in the peak hour traffic heading out of town. Finally we made it to Immigration though, where we knew we had to go to ‘Section 2’. No signs anywhere of course, but the man at the Information desk actually gave us the correct directions and we found Section 2. Could this be a good omen?
The actual process of stamping the passport with the permanent visa takes one minute. I repeat, one minute. The interim visa is read by a laser light on the computer, a printer attached to the computer spits out the visa, the visa is stuck in the passport, the supervisor signs it. Done. Couldn’t be simpler.
Did I say simple? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…….
Into Section 2, up to the Information desk just to double check – always a necessity in Dubai.
Wave the papers/passport at the man and ask if we’re in the right place for passport stamping.
“First go to typing”.
Ah. More paperwork.
Out of Section 2, find the typing office – actually a cubby in a cafeteria, eight feet x eight feet, containing three computers, six staff and fourteen tonnes of paperwork. Thrust paperwork at the least scruffy individual who we assume is the boss. He looks at it, seems to know what’s required and wants Dh450. Pay the money, hang around for 20 minutes, get the papers back with a typed form now attached and make our way back to Section 2.
I’m told I can go to any counter from 1 to 14. All have 15 or 16 people queuing at them. Remembering the lesson from last time I ignore those with ladies behind them and choose one with a uniformed officer.
As I join the queue he goes walkabout.
Ten minutes later he’s still not back and Mrs Seabee decides the next queue is a better choice, with a civilian man behind the counter. That’s the third bad move of the morning. Mrs Seabee wanders off and finds a comfortable seat, I stand seventeenth in the queue. The man behind the counter goes walkabout. As time passes I realise he’s the one with lots of old school chums who just wander up to the counter and get served before those of us in the (dis)orderly queue. No point complaining, because he’ll probably refuse to deal with me. He also goes walkabout a lot, roughly after every two customers.
An hour later and we’re down to only seven people in front of me. Another hour later and I’m second. Another of his old mates turns up at the counter with a fistful of passports and gets served immediately. Twenty minutes later and I’m on!
Bear in mind I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do, what the procedure is, what I do next. So I simply greet him in my best Arabic, hoping to ingratiate myself with him, and hand him the wad of papers and Mrs Seabee’s passport. He rifles through the papers, gives me a fistful back and then says:
“You must pay Dh20,000” .
“I’ve already paid Dh10,000” I say
“You must pay 20” he says.
Invoking the name of the Major I remember from previous visits…"Ali Mullullah told me to pay Dh10,000, so I paid Dh10,000. I have the receipt”.
Wave receipt at him. He takes it, wanders to the back and goes into deep conversation with two colleagues. Finally they agree that Dh10,000 is enough.
Having sorted all that out he zaps the interim visa on his laser reader. Out of the printer comes the permanent visa, he sticks it in the passport, puts the passport on the pile on the next desk – but the supervisor's now gone walkabout. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next so I just stand there. Ten minutes later the supervisor comes back, scribbles his signature on the visa and gives it to me.
“Khalas?” I ask
“Yes, finished” he says.
We’ve done it! A one minute process took a total of three hours, but Mrs Seabee finally has her residence visa stamped in her passport.
Mr Mansour went to the office the following day and had the vital forms with him. So we toddled off down there, Mrs Seabee had the blood test done. No waiting, very friendly, easy. Back the next day just after noon, the ‘all clear’ report plus her Health Card were waiting. Easy again. This can't go on!
Next day it was time to do battle at Immigration again. We had the interim visa, the medical all-clear, we’d paid the money, so now it was the final stage, getting the permanent residence visa stamped in her passport. Off we went, (not so) bright and early, even before my morning coffee.
That was the first bad move of the day.
The second was to go on Sheikh Zayed Road – quicker I thought. And it would have been had I not chosen the wrong one of the five available lanes and missed the turn-off. That meant I had to do a tour of the city and get snarled up in the peak hour traffic heading out of town. Finally we made it to Immigration though, where we knew we had to go to ‘Section 2’. No signs anywhere of course, but the man at the Information desk actually gave us the correct directions and we found Section 2. Could this be a good omen?
The actual process of stamping the passport with the permanent visa takes one minute. I repeat, one minute. The interim visa is read by a laser light on the computer, a printer attached to the computer spits out the visa, the visa is stuck in the passport, the supervisor signs it. Done. Couldn’t be simpler.
Did I say simple? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…….
Into Section 2, up to the Information desk just to double check – always a necessity in Dubai.
Wave the papers/passport at the man and ask if we’re in the right place for passport stamping.
“First go to typing”.
Ah. More paperwork.
Out of Section 2, find the typing office – actually a cubby in a cafeteria, eight feet x eight feet, containing three computers, six staff and fourteen tonnes of paperwork. Thrust paperwork at the least scruffy individual who we assume is the boss. He looks at it, seems to know what’s required and wants Dh450. Pay the money, hang around for 20 minutes, get the papers back with a typed form now attached and make our way back to Section 2.
I’m told I can go to any counter from 1 to 14. All have 15 or 16 people queuing at them. Remembering the lesson from last time I ignore those with ladies behind them and choose one with a uniformed officer.
As I join the queue he goes walkabout.
Ten minutes later he’s still not back and Mrs Seabee decides the next queue is a better choice, with a civilian man behind the counter. That’s the third bad move of the morning. Mrs Seabee wanders off and finds a comfortable seat, I stand seventeenth in the queue. The man behind the counter goes walkabout. As time passes I realise he’s the one with lots of old school chums who just wander up to the counter and get served before those of us in the (dis)orderly queue. No point complaining, because he’ll probably refuse to deal with me. He also goes walkabout a lot, roughly after every two customers.
An hour later and we’re down to only seven people in front of me. Another hour later and I’m second. Another of his old mates turns up at the counter with a fistful of passports and gets served immediately. Twenty minutes later and I’m on!
Bear in mind I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do, what the procedure is, what I do next. So I simply greet him in my best Arabic, hoping to ingratiate myself with him, and hand him the wad of papers and Mrs Seabee’s passport. He rifles through the papers, gives me a fistful back and then says:
“You must pay Dh20,000” .
“I’ve already paid Dh10,000” I say
“You must pay 20” he says.
Invoking the name of the Major I remember from previous visits…"Ali Mullullah told me to pay Dh10,000, so I paid Dh10,000. I have the receipt”.
Wave receipt at him. He takes it, wanders to the back and goes into deep conversation with two colleagues. Finally they agree that Dh10,000 is enough.
Having sorted all that out he zaps the interim visa on his laser reader. Out of the printer comes the permanent visa, he sticks it in the passport, puts the passport on the pile on the next desk – but the supervisor's now gone walkabout. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next so I just stand there. Ten minutes later the supervisor comes back, scribbles his signature on the visa and gives it to me.
“Khalas?” I ask
“Yes, finished” he says.
We’ve done it! A one minute process took a total of three hours, but Mrs Seabee finally has her residence visa stamped in her passport.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The saga of the Residence Visa
Telling the saga of applying for Mrs Seabee's Residence Visa, I was encouraged to Blog it. So here it is - it's long, but then it was a long story...
Background: As we bought property in Dubai, I’m sponsored for a Residence Visa by Emaar, the Master Developer. However, they can only sponsor one person even if the property is in joint names. So I have apply to sponsor Mrs Seabee for her residence visa. I could do it all through Emaar but they’ll charge me an extortionate Dh5,000 so we decided to do it ourselves.
Due to the death of the then Ruler of Dubai Sheikh Maktoum bin Rashid al Maktoum, there was a mourning period when everything was closed. The mourning period ran straight into the Eid al Adha public holiday, so Immigration was closed for about a fortnight.
Before those events we’d been at Immigration for most of a day getting the right forms, getting them typed in Arabic and running out of time. As it turned out, when I was asking questions I stumbled across someone who later turned out to be invaluable, Major (I think) Ali Mullullah. We planned to go back early the next morning, but that was the morning Sheikh Maktoum’s death was announced. Murphy’s Law.
So it was off to Immigration the first day they opened.
Signage is a little vague, to say the least, and is meaningless anyway. Ignore what the signs above the counters say because they all do everything. I asked a uniformed officer where to go and he waved his hand around and said “Any counter”. So I went to the one with the shortest queue. Mistake. I’d picked the counter with the very pleasant but totally disinterested lady behind it. She wished she was anywhere else but behind the counter and went walkabout quite a lot.
After an hour and a half it got to be my turn. She rifled through the application papers and wanted my employment contract. I’m probably the first person without such a thing to apply to sponsor his wife, so I was in a black hole. Much waving of my application in the air and Arabic conversation with the Lieutenant beside her. The Emirati man next to me spoke to her in Arabic and from his hand gestures I took it he was telling her to just get on with it and process it.
Finally the Lieutenant want to find my old friend Major Ali Mullulah, who was overseeing the Ladies Only counter. More muttering, then he called me to come over. That didn’t go down well with the ladies who’d been queuing for hours, a man pushing and squeezing through them to the counter. I finally got there, being careful to keep my hands well in view so as not to be accused of indecent assault.
Major Mullulah told me they could process the application if I paid a deposit of Dh10,000. I actually already knew I had to do that, so I had the cash in my wallet.
“Any problem?” asked the major.
“No problem. Where do I pay?”
“Counter 20.”
“Then I come back?”
“Yes, then come back.”
Off through hundreds of equally confused people and found Counter 20. Oh good, only fifteen people in the queue. Well, that doesn’t count all those who simply pushed their way to the front to shout questions while waving papers about. I eventually arrived at the front of the queue and told the man, this one is a suit and tie, that I was to pay him Dh10,000.
“Next counter.”
Bugger!
Pushed my way out and joined the back of a queue with only a dozen people in it…plus the usual pushers and shovers. But, good news, only ten minutes later I was paying my money over, plus an unexplained additional Dh5.
Back to my original counter, but the lieutenant had also gone walkabout. Still, after only five minutes or so and he came back, did something on his computer and pushed the application to the disinterested lady. She was busy on another application, but after he tapped my papers a few times she got around to it. Some tapping on the computer, zapping it on the laser light, scrutiny of the papers, then: “Your wife outside UAE?”
“No, here on a visit visa.”
Papers thrust back at me.
“You must pay Dh500 to change visa.”
“OK. Where do I pay?”
“Same counter.”
Back to Counter 19, down to half a dozen in the queue and soon it was my turn at the front.
“I have to pay you Dh500.”
“Five hundred and five.” Ah, the mysterious five again.
Bugger again. I don’t have anything smaller than Dh100 notes to pay the extra five dirhams.
“No change” he says, pushing everything back to me.
Off I go through the throng yet again to find Mrs Seabee. She’s disappeared, having given up standing outside in the sandstorm, as has everyone else who’s waiting, so the crowd is double the usual chaos. Eventually I find her in another building, I take all her small notes, plough my way back to other building, only getting lost once on the way, and find Counter 19. Two people in the queue! So I quickly pay my Dh505, take the receipt and the papers back yet again to the lieutenant. He’s there doing very little, takes my papers…and hands me Mrs Seabee's interim residence visa! Blimey!
“Now you go to section 15 with original passport for stamping.”
“What about the medical?”
“After. Go now to section 15 for stamping.”
Having gone through this process myself, albeit with all this running around being done by my sponsor, I know that after getting the interim visa you go for a medical, take the ‘all-clear’ results back to Immigration with your passport and they stamp the Residence Visa in it.
So I wander around looking for Section 15, go out into the sandstorm and search other buildings, ask three Information counter people and they each tell me something different.
I find myself in the building that Mrs Seabee’s sheltering in. Explain the situation, we wander a little before finding another lieutenant standing around being helpful. I explain and ask what I do next and where do I do it. He says Section 15 for stamping. I ask about the medical. He says “After stamping. No problem. This visa (the interim one) is valid for two months. First you go for stamping.”
OK, we wander in the general direction he gave us and suddenly eagle-eyed Mrs Seabee notices 'Section 15' written on a dilapidated building the other side of the courtyard. Off into the sandstorm once again, but we find a counter, a short queue and within ten minutes we’re being dealt with.
The lady stamps the interim visa and wants $505. OK, now we work it out. We paid once to have her visit visa changed to something else when I put the application in, now we have the interim visa we have to have it stamped to confirm the visit visa has been changed to it…and pay Dh505 for that bit of bureaucracy. That’s what they all meant by ‘stamping’. I thought they meant stamping the permanent visa in the passport.
OK, it’s only 1.30pm so we may be able to get the medical done today. There are three designated clinics, one is on the way back home, another is just beyond home but that’s my choice because it’s small, uncrowded, friendly, easy to get around… Mrs Seabee over-rules me, so we drive to the one on the way home, Iranian Hospital. We find a parking space, wander in, get lost, see huge queues, so I re-suggest we go to Jebel Ali, the nice, friendly, little one. OK, it’s 30 kilometres from where we are but it’ll be quicker to do that than sit around here in a huge queue. So, off into the sandstorm once again, along Sheikh Zayed Road.
Get into the clinic, ask the friendly Emirati gentleman who dealt with me when I did mine whether he can arrange the medical now. He'd love to...but today’s final problem, he’s run out of forms.
“So sorry, I can’t do it without a form. Mr Mansour will know whether he’ll have the forms tomorrow, but he’s gone home for the day. Phone me in the morning. If the forms are here we can do it then.”
By now it’s close to 3pm, so we call it a day and I have (only) my second, and well-earned, coffee of the day.
Tomorrow is another day…
I'll continue the story in a day or two...
Background: As we bought property in Dubai, I’m sponsored for a Residence Visa by Emaar, the Master Developer. However, they can only sponsor one person even if the property is in joint names. So I have apply to sponsor Mrs Seabee for her residence visa. I could do it all through Emaar but they’ll charge me an extortionate Dh5,000 so we decided to do it ourselves.
Due to the death of the then Ruler of Dubai Sheikh Maktoum bin Rashid al Maktoum, there was a mourning period when everything was closed. The mourning period ran straight into the Eid al Adha public holiday, so Immigration was closed for about a fortnight.
Before those events we’d been at Immigration for most of a day getting the right forms, getting them typed in Arabic and running out of time. As it turned out, when I was asking questions I stumbled across someone who later turned out to be invaluable, Major (I think) Ali Mullullah. We planned to go back early the next morning, but that was the morning Sheikh Maktoum’s death was announced. Murphy’s Law.
So it was off to Immigration the first day they opened.
Signage is a little vague, to say the least, and is meaningless anyway. Ignore what the signs above the counters say because they all do everything. I asked a uniformed officer where to go and he waved his hand around and said “Any counter”. So I went to the one with the shortest queue. Mistake. I’d picked the counter with the very pleasant but totally disinterested lady behind it. She wished she was anywhere else but behind the counter and went walkabout quite a lot.
After an hour and a half it got to be my turn. She rifled through the application papers and wanted my employment contract. I’m probably the first person without such a thing to apply to sponsor his wife, so I was in a black hole. Much waving of my application in the air and Arabic conversation with the Lieutenant beside her. The Emirati man next to me spoke to her in Arabic and from his hand gestures I took it he was telling her to just get on with it and process it.
Finally the Lieutenant want to find my old friend Major Ali Mullulah, who was overseeing the Ladies Only counter. More muttering, then he called me to come over. That didn’t go down well with the ladies who’d been queuing for hours, a man pushing and squeezing through them to the counter. I finally got there, being careful to keep my hands well in view so as not to be accused of indecent assault.
Major Mullulah told me they could process the application if I paid a deposit of Dh10,000. I actually already knew I had to do that, so I had the cash in my wallet.
“Any problem?” asked the major.
“No problem. Where do I pay?”
“Counter 20.”
“Then I come back?”
“Yes, then come back.”
Off through hundreds of equally confused people and found Counter 20. Oh good, only fifteen people in the queue. Well, that doesn’t count all those who simply pushed their way to the front to shout questions while waving papers about. I eventually arrived at the front of the queue and told the man, this one is a suit and tie, that I was to pay him Dh10,000.
“Next counter.”
Bugger!
Pushed my way out and joined the back of a queue with only a dozen people in it…plus the usual pushers and shovers. But, good news, only ten minutes later I was paying my money over, plus an unexplained additional Dh5.
Back to my original counter, but the lieutenant had also gone walkabout. Still, after only five minutes or so and he came back, did something on his computer and pushed the application to the disinterested lady. She was busy on another application, but after he tapped my papers a few times she got around to it. Some tapping on the computer, zapping it on the laser light, scrutiny of the papers, then: “Your wife outside UAE?”
“No, here on a visit visa.”
Papers thrust back at me.
“You must pay Dh500 to change visa.”
“OK. Where do I pay?”
“Same counter.”
Back to Counter 19, down to half a dozen in the queue and soon it was my turn at the front.
“I have to pay you Dh500.”
“Five hundred and five.” Ah, the mysterious five again.
Bugger again. I don’t have anything smaller than Dh100 notes to pay the extra five dirhams.
“No change” he says, pushing everything back to me.
Off I go through the throng yet again to find Mrs Seabee. She’s disappeared, having given up standing outside in the sandstorm, as has everyone else who’s waiting, so the crowd is double the usual chaos. Eventually I find her in another building, I take all her small notes, plough my way back to other building, only getting lost once on the way, and find Counter 19. Two people in the queue! So I quickly pay my Dh505, take the receipt and the papers back yet again to the lieutenant. He’s there doing very little, takes my papers…and hands me Mrs Seabee's interim residence visa! Blimey!
“Now you go to section 15 with original passport for stamping.”
“What about the medical?”
“After. Go now to section 15 for stamping.”
Having gone through this process myself, albeit with all this running around being done by my sponsor, I know that after getting the interim visa you go for a medical, take the ‘all-clear’ results back to Immigration with your passport and they stamp the Residence Visa in it.
So I wander around looking for Section 15, go out into the sandstorm and search other buildings, ask three Information counter people and they each tell me something different.
I find myself in the building that Mrs Seabee’s sheltering in. Explain the situation, we wander a little before finding another lieutenant standing around being helpful. I explain and ask what I do next and where do I do it. He says Section 15 for stamping. I ask about the medical. He says “After stamping. No problem. This visa (the interim one) is valid for two months. First you go for stamping.”
OK, we wander in the general direction he gave us and suddenly eagle-eyed Mrs Seabee notices 'Section 15' written on a dilapidated building the other side of the courtyard. Off into the sandstorm once again, but we find a counter, a short queue and within ten minutes we’re being dealt with.
The lady stamps the interim visa and wants $505. OK, now we work it out. We paid once to have her visit visa changed to something else when I put the application in, now we have the interim visa we have to have it stamped to confirm the visit visa has been changed to it…and pay Dh505 for that bit of bureaucracy. That’s what they all meant by ‘stamping’. I thought they meant stamping the permanent visa in the passport.
OK, it’s only 1.30pm so we may be able to get the medical done today. There are three designated clinics, one is on the way back home, another is just beyond home but that’s my choice because it’s small, uncrowded, friendly, easy to get around… Mrs Seabee over-rules me, so we drive to the one on the way home, Iranian Hospital. We find a parking space, wander in, get lost, see huge queues, so I re-suggest we go to Jebel Ali, the nice, friendly, little one. OK, it’s 30 kilometres from where we are but it’ll be quicker to do that than sit around here in a huge queue. So, off into the sandstorm once again, along Sheikh Zayed Road.
Get into the clinic, ask the friendly Emirati gentleman who dealt with me when I did mine whether he can arrange the medical now. He'd love to...but today’s final problem, he’s run out of forms.
“So sorry, I can’t do it without a form. Mr Mansour will know whether he’ll have the forms tomorrow, but he’s gone home for the day. Phone me in the morning. If the forms are here we can do it then.”
By now it’s close to 3pm, so we call it a day and I have (only) my second, and well-earned, coffee of the day.
Tomorrow is another day…
I'll continue the story in a day or two...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Big fees no service
A letter in Gulf News today highlighted a constant problem here that really needs some attention...not providing the service for which fees are charged.
No free service
The news item on redback spiders says the resident "called upon Emaar to carry out free pest control for residents". It then quotes Dubai Municipality as saying the residents of Springs are out of their range.
Let me explain something. Springs residents do not ask for free pest control. We pay a substantial service charge which includes regular pest control. On top of that, we pay housing fees (more like a tax) to the municipality. Still, we are out of their range.
From Mr H. Fared, Dubai
It's not just Emaar or the Municipality either is it, it's standard practice.
Of many that annoy me, Pay TV is a particular culprit - charge the fee but don't bother to produce a Programme Guide to tell subscribers what's on. (Why should we do that, we've got your money anyway). The box scrambles itself, technicians eventually arrive and bitch & complain that "we're not here to give this service."
Websites? A joke in this area. Anything up to literally years out of date, and no contact e-mail address given on most sites. If you send an e-mail to an address you happen to know the odds are very high that you'll never receive a response. I don't think they even read their e-mails.
Media ads that don't tell you where the advertiser is located, or the price of the product. A mobile number is all you get. They want you to give them your money but expect you to phone them find out how much and where you have to go to give it to them.
I could go on but I don't need to, you have your own examples.
It isn't just monopoly organisations either. It amazes me that even businesses with fierce competition display the same attitude. Is there a conspiracy, like a price-fixing ring? Secret get-togethers to agree that none of them will actually offer consumers a service?
There's a great business opportunity for one of them with the courage to break the code. A company that thinks about its potential repeat business, actually cares about its customers, gives them relevant up-to-date information and offers after sales service. What a novel idea.
No free service
The news item on redback spiders says the resident "called upon Emaar to carry out free pest control for residents". It then quotes Dubai Municipality as saying the residents of Springs are out of their range.
Let me explain something. Springs residents do not ask for free pest control. We pay a substantial service charge which includes regular pest control. On top of that, we pay housing fees (more like a tax) to the municipality. Still, we are out of their range.
From Mr H. Fared, Dubai
It's not just Emaar or the Municipality either is it, it's standard practice.
Of many that annoy me, Pay TV is a particular culprit - charge the fee but don't bother to produce a Programme Guide to tell subscribers what's on. (Why should we do that, we've got your money anyway). The box scrambles itself, technicians eventually arrive and bitch & complain that "we're not here to give this service."
Websites? A joke in this area. Anything up to literally years out of date, and no contact e-mail address given on most sites. If you send an e-mail to an address you happen to know the odds are very high that you'll never receive a response. I don't think they even read their e-mails.
Media ads that don't tell you where the advertiser is located, or the price of the product. A mobile number is all you get. They want you to give them your money but expect you to phone them find out how much and where you have to go to give it to them.
I could go on but I don't need to, you have your own examples.
It isn't just monopoly organisations either. It amazes me that even businesses with fierce competition display the same attitude. Is there a conspiracy, like a price-fixing ring? Secret get-togethers to agree that none of them will actually offer consumers a service?
There's a great business opportunity for one of them with the courage to break the code. A company that thinks about its potential repeat business, actually cares about its customers, gives them relevant up-to-date information and offers after sales service. What a novel idea.
Friday, April 07, 2006
An insult to our intelligence.
keefieboy has a good piece on this but I was steaming more than my coffee was when I read it in Emirates Today this morning so I had to get it off my chest too.
Front page story in Emirates Today is Crackdown on private usage of company PO boxes and begins Emirates Post is launching a blitz on abuse of the postal service in a bid to stop important business documents from getting lost or delayed.
An Emirates Post spokesman said: (and remember this is not April 1st) The personal mail of hundreds of employees causes a lot of confusion, while sorting out the company mail takes time. Sometimes the official mail gets lost or delayed. A letter to businesses is along the same lines: We want to prevent the loss of company's mail due to sorting confusion when personal letters are addressed to the company's PO Box"
I hardly know where to start! First of all, "abuse". Why and how the hell is it abuse to send stuff to people through the mail?
Look EP, a PO Box number is a PO Box number. You sort the mail and put it in the box that carries the same number as written on the envelope. OK? Got it? It isn't rocket science.
Whether it's private or company mail is totally irrelevant to the process and it has nothing to do with "important business documents getting lost or delayed." That's down to good old incompetence.
The story goes on to say that as part of an overall plan EP will Inform companies of employees they suspect of using business postal facilities for private material." Hey, EP - they already know!
How on earth will that ease the load on the overworked sorting staff who are being confused already? In addition to their current workload they will have to somehow separate peoples' business and private mail.
And I have a question on that. How are you going to work out which items contain private material and which contain company material? Difficult when items are addressed to the same person at the same PO Box number. Are you going to open them all? How else will you know?
You know, I suspect that there are some who might see this as an attempt to deflect criticism about lost and late mail onto the users of the postal system. And as a money-grabbing exercise, considering that a private PO Box costs Dh300 a year, plus extra for extra keys.
But surely that can't be what's behind it.
Front page story in Emirates Today is Crackdown on private usage of company PO boxes and begins Emirates Post is launching a blitz on abuse of the postal service in a bid to stop important business documents from getting lost or delayed.
An Emirates Post spokesman said: (and remember this is not April 1st) The personal mail of hundreds of employees causes a lot of confusion, while sorting out the company mail takes time. Sometimes the official mail gets lost or delayed. A letter to businesses is along the same lines: We want to prevent the loss of company's mail due to sorting confusion when personal letters are addressed to the company's PO Box"
I hardly know where to start! First of all, "abuse". Why and how the hell is it abuse to send stuff to people through the mail?
Look EP, a PO Box number is a PO Box number. You sort the mail and put it in the box that carries the same number as written on the envelope. OK? Got it? It isn't rocket science.
Whether it's private or company mail is totally irrelevant to the process and it has nothing to do with "important business documents getting lost or delayed." That's down to good old incompetence.
The story goes on to say that as part of an overall plan EP will Inform companies of employees they suspect of using business postal facilities for private material." Hey, EP - they already know!
How on earth will that ease the load on the overworked sorting staff who are being confused already? In addition to their current workload they will have to somehow separate peoples' business and private mail.
And I have a question on that. How are you going to work out which items contain private material and which contain company material? Difficult when items are addressed to the same person at the same PO Box number. Are you going to open them all? How else will you know?
You know, I suspect that there are some who might see this as an attempt to deflect criticism about lost and late mail onto the users of the postal system. And as a money-grabbing exercise, considering that a private PO Box costs Dh300 a year, plus extra for extra keys.
But surely that can't be what's behind it.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The magic's gone.
I’m really sad that Dubai's old gold souk has changed so much.
It used to be one of the wonders of the world – especially back in the seventies when I first came to Dubai. It had the same number of shops, but they were smaller and less modern, the street was mainly sand and the roof was barasti. The whole focus was the gold itself, and every shop was crammed with the exotic traditional Arabic and Indian designs plus more modern Italian designs for the chains and bracelets.
Even after the rebuilding, it retained the atmosphere and the jewellery stayed the same.
But then came the hordes of tourists, especially Brits and Europeans on cheap shopping expeditions. And that’s what’s changed it. Now half the shops look like the High Street shops in any British town with row after row of boring small solitaire diamond rings.
The traditional gold jewellery has gone out to the older shopping areas like Satwa and around Al Fahidi Street. You still see groups of them side by side but it isn’t the same as 130 or so crammed together in a dusty narrow souk, windows ablaze with the most amazing jewellery. No matter how many times I wandered around it in the evening, I never tired of doing it.
Now, well, it just doesn't have the magic.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
We've got no chance!
A 17 year old was killed crossing the road on his way home from school.
A report in Emirates Today quoting the fathers of the boy and the driver shows the mindset we're dealing with.
The dead boy's father said: "I lost my son because of a mistake by 16 year old reckless driver who was driving at very high speed."
The driver's father said: My son was driving his car on Al Khawaneej Road where speed limit is 100kph and I think the driver has a right to drive at 120kph."
Has a right? Has a right!! To break the law?
I would have thought it's stating the bleedin' obvious to say that a 16 year old shouldn't be driving in the first place and he shouldn't be exceeding the speed limit. Very stupid of me to think that, I know.
Oh, and the story is alongside another about the suspected drunk who lost control of his car and ploughed into four men standing enjoying a snack and a chat at the side of the road. And a cyclist killed by another 'driver' who lost control while he was fiddling with his side mirrors.
I'm just sitting here shaking my head in despair...
A report in Emirates Today quoting the fathers of the boy and the driver shows the mindset we're dealing with.
The dead boy's father said: "I lost my son because of a mistake by 16 year old reckless driver who was driving at very high speed."
The driver's father said: My son was driving his car on Al Khawaneej Road where speed limit is 100kph and I think the driver has a right to drive at 120kph."
Has a right? Has a right!! To break the law?
I would have thought it's stating the bleedin' obvious to say that a 16 year old shouldn't be driving in the first place and he shouldn't be exceeding the speed limit. Very stupid of me to think that, I know.
Oh, and the story is alongside another about the suspected drunk who lost control of his car and ploughed into four men standing enjoying a snack and a chat at the side of the road. And a cyclist killed by another 'driver' who lost control while he was fiddling with his side mirrors.
I'm just sitting here shaking my head in despair...
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Go get'em boys!
Hundreds of people have died needlessly, not only the lunatic drivers themselves but tragically also very many innocent people. At last something's being done about it.
Hundreds of violations caught in covert campaign as police acknowledge that nothing else can stop Dubai's reckless drivers...
*Police pull over 353 vehicles
*99 driving licences seized
*464 fines issued
*16 vehicles impounded
*First car impounded driven by British expat
Dubai’s top traffic cop said yesterday that punishing errant drivers on the spot was the most effective way to hold them “accountable”, as a fleet of unmarked police cars stopped almost one vehicle every minute for road violations during its first 48 hours on patrol.
Police also confiscated 16 vehicles and handed out more than dhs69,600 worth of fines. More than one hundred fines, almost one quarter, were issued for driving outside designated lanes.
7Days
It concerns me that the report says the patrols will be out there only between 7.30 and 10.30 am...the lunatic driving isn't restricted to those hours... but it's a start.
I wonder how many lives were saved by yesterday's action? Even if it was only one, it was a job well done.
Full storyHERE
Hundreds of violations caught in covert campaign as police acknowledge that nothing else can stop Dubai's reckless drivers...
*Police pull over 353 vehicles
*99 driving licences seized
*464 fines issued
*16 vehicles impounded
*First car impounded driven by British expat
Dubai’s top traffic cop said yesterday that punishing errant drivers on the spot was the most effective way to hold them “accountable”, as a fleet of unmarked police cars stopped almost one vehicle every minute for road violations during its first 48 hours on patrol.
Police also confiscated 16 vehicles and handed out more than dhs69,600 worth of fines. More than one hundred fines, almost one quarter, were issued for driving outside designated lanes.
7Days
It concerns me that the report says the patrols will be out there only between 7.30 and 10.30 am...the lunatic driving isn't restricted to those hours... but it's a start.
I wonder how many lives were saved by yesterday's action? Even if it was only one, it was a job well done.
Full storyHERE
Sunday, April 02, 2006
And with the glitz comes...
It's a sad comment on human society that growth and development inevitably brings increased crime.
ATM in Ajman hit by daylight armed robbery
By Bassma Al Jandaly, Staff Reporter
Ajman: Ajman police are hunting for four robbers who shot and injured a security guard and stole thousands of dirhams in a daring daylight robbery in the city centre on Saturday.
Police said the incident occurred at 3:40pm in a busy area when security personnel were preparing to load cash into a bank ATM.
Gulf News
We had the Currency Exchange heist. The jewellery shops in, if I remember correctly, Wafi Mall, being cleaned out. The Mexican Bandits raiding villas. Organised Crime seems to have arrived. What a sad thing that is for a country that was once so safe and, relatively, crime free.
A sign of the times and, I'm afraid, a glimpse into the future.
ATM in Ajman hit by daylight armed robbery
By Bassma Al Jandaly, Staff Reporter
Ajman: Ajman police are hunting for four robbers who shot and injured a security guard and stole thousands of dirhams in a daring daylight robbery in the city centre on Saturday.
Police said the incident occurred at 3:40pm in a busy area when security personnel were preparing to load cash into a bank ATM.
Gulf News
We had the Currency Exchange heist. The jewellery shops in, if I remember correctly, Wafi Mall, being cleaned out. The Mexican Bandits raiding villas. Organised Crime seems to have arrived. What a sad thing that is for a country that was once so safe and, relatively, crime free.
A sign of the times and, I'm afraid, a glimpse into the future.
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