Friday, September 03, 2010

Solutions absurdity

It's been about six weeks since my last rant about the ridiculous buzzword 'solutions'; July 18 in fact if you want to go back and remind yourself.

But I've just noticed a byline that reaches new levels of absurdity.

Gulf News have a reporter who's called...Community Solutions Journalist.

Seriously.

It's her job title.

Community Solutions Journalist.

What the hell does it mean?

Compounding the absurdity the Community Solutions Journalist sometimes co-writes with a colleague who is...Community Interactivity Editor.

I'm not making it up, you can check it for yourself here.

11 comments:

alexander... said...

I think we do need to find a solution to the solution problem.

Maybe dilution is the solution solution?

I feel slightly responsible, because it is undoubtedly the computer industry that introduced this pernicious word into our vocabulary and first started to mis-use it so badly.

I once did a Campaign column about 'solutionism', the act of using the word solution to mask the fact that you don't know what you're talking about, claiming it was a word and encouraging people to look it up on Wikipedia. I then posted a Wikipedia entry defining the word.

For one halcyon week, Campaign readers could go to Wikipedia and find my lovely new word defined.

Then some WikiNazi found me out and it was deleted. A sad day for solutionism...

But oh, what a lovely week it was!

Seabee said...

Alex, a solution to solution would be the solution, but I'm not holding my breath.

I'm soon going to start ranting about another buzzword that's driving me crazy too - "going forward".

Businesses used to plan things for the future but that's no longer allowed, they have to plan things "going forward". Everyone says it. Sheep, following the flock. (You're guilty of it too, I've heard you using it frequently on DubaiEye. STOP IT!)

nzm said...

Seabee: have you heard of the game called Corporate Bingo which came out some years ago?

It was a card on which phrases and buzzwords such as "At the end of the day", "going forward", "team", "due diligence" and "win-win" were printed on squares, similar to numbers on a bingo card.

The idea was that meeting attendees would each have one of these to fill out, and the first person to mark all their squares would jump up and yell, "Bingo!"

I never did hear of it actually being played!

Perhaps you should produce a Dubai Media Bingo card game? ;.)

Luke said...

Do you know what is more shocking in my opinion? The fact that it took two people to write the GN non-article, even more so given their high-profile job descriptions.

Seabee said...

NZM, I've been searching frantically for a thing given to me at the start of my working life called 'The Bullshyter'.

It had three columns, each with ten single words. You thought of three numbers from one to ten, picked the corresponding word from the three columns and you got the "Executive Phrase of the Day'.

You then, of course, had to slip the meaningless but important sounding phrase into the next meeting.

I really have to find it...

Luke, a non-article in Gulf News? Surely not!

Anonymous said...

Seabee, you might want to check out the handy "bulls**t generator". That's the first place I go to, to get some ideas on doing the writeup to plug our products. Here's the link Bulls**tGenerator

Susan said...

The one I really hate is "ticks all the boxes"! Makes me want to scream and throw heavy things!

Seabee said...

Anon@6.08, thanks for that. It's exactly what I was talking about in my comment to NZM about the Bullshyter I had years ago.

Susan said...

Love the bulls**t generator!! That's going to come in handy :-)

Kwptic said...

Someone I know who's just a year into his career after graduating from uni is one of my facebook friends. He used the word "going forward" in an informal wall post with a friend.

Cringe.

i*maginate said...

Vision