Service? In your dreams.

An example of typical Dubai service levels.

We pay a ridiculous amount every month for First Net TV. We watch a couple of hours a week of the rare watchable programmes amongst the ancient repeat dross. You know, the programmes featuring up-and-coming young actors who actually are now retirees or dead. I pay extra to watch English Premier League, four matches a week.

Oh, and they don't even bother to publish a programme guide so that their paying customers know what's on.

'You give us your money, we give you as little as possible in return'.

On Friday the TV dies on us. No reception of any channels.

We call First Net. They direct us to their service representatives EuroStar.

They say they'll send a technician betwen 24 and 48 hours later. Not a good example of service so far, we are after all paying for something that they're no longer supplying.

Around 36 hours later two technicians - I use the term loosely - arrive. They do exactly what I've been doing, which is use the remote to re-programme the set.

Surprise, surprise! They get the same result as me. Nothing.

The meter comes out, they plug in, mutter to each other and tell me the fault is in the building.

"Call the real estate company to fix it". And they walk towards the door.

Me: "That's it?"

*Shrug*

Me: "I pay a lot of money for TV which I'm not getting and you just walk away?"

Them: "You don't pay for service."

This is the second time in less than six months that I've called First Net because reception disappeared. The second time they've referred me to Euro Star as their 'service representative'. The second time I've been rudely told by their 'technicians' that I don't pay for service.

I honestly believe that the only answer to this kind of arrogant, pig-ignorant attitude is a firm smack in the mouth.

I am so close. Instead I say: "I pay for TV reception, I am not getting TV reception. I don't have to pay extra for 'service' to give me what I've already paid in advance for."

*Shrug*

They walk away.

Not only is a smack in the mouth the only thing that will make them understand that arrogance and ignorance is unacceptable, it's the only way they'll learn not to turn their backs on a customer and walk away.

I am fuming at the fact that companies take our money but don't give us what we've paid for. And more so at the rudeness, the lack of manners, the arrogance of their employees.

I manage to do no more than fume.

I call EuroStar and get a 'customer service executive'.

I tell him the problem. That is, I'm not getting the TV reception I'm paying for, the 'technicians' don't know what to do, tell me not to expect any service and simply walk away. I tell him the other apartments in the building have no problem.

The 'customer service executive' isn't listening, obviously. He tells me I probably need to put the dish higher than the surrounding buildings. I tell him it's already as high as it can be on the roof and in any case no-one else is having a problem.

He tells me the dish is no good and I need to get Tecom or E-Vision to do a cable installation.

I tell him that it is an E-Vision installation.

He tells me that my subscription runs out on November 30, so I can either simply not renew or I can cancel it from today.

So much for companies giving you what you pay for.