Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Orders from the FBI

Another e-mail from the FBI has turned up, this one from none other than FBI Director Robert S.Mueller.

The last message was from a mere Agent - I posted the details on Saturday - but now I'm proud to say I merit a Director.

He's given me a better e-mail address than his colleague too, this is gov

He tells me that he's "brought a solution to your problem" (Boy, am I relieved - not only that he's solved my problem but also because he exposed a problem I didn't realise I had).

I'm sort-of resting easy because he assures me that "Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens"

The bit that worries me is whether 'have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free' applies to me because I'm not an American Citizen.

Still, even if we're not American, if we can't trust the FBI who can we trust?

Oh, and he alerts me to the fact that "Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation."

Then using his position as Director he tells me: "We order you get back to this office..."

An order from an FBI Director - who could disobey that?

Here's the full text:

Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, MrFrank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC,Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4,000 to $5,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $110.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATIONNAME: Mike Telephone Number: +234-803-357-0260

You are adviced to contact Mr mike williams with the informations as stated below:

Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Current occupation:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $110.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you. Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to

I'm afraid that's where it ends, and without the missing information about what they're claiming I'm afraid I won't be able to identify imposters.


Anonymous said...

there is a new trend to create disposable email addresses (aka Email Alias)... an email address that is linked to your real email where you use disposable email address for anything like signing up for facebook or websites or newsletters or anything... and keep your real email address only known to real people you communicate with.

once you start getting spam from one of your disposable addresses, simply delete that disposable email and all spam from that address is vanished... plus those SPAMMERS keep selling your address to each other on and on so the solution is to dispose it. yet your real email identity is still hidden from them.

I have been using this method now for about 2 years with almost 99% success that I have almost 0 spam in my inbox.

I also identify my disposable emails so that if I recieve spam on one of them I actually knows whom I shared that email with... I usually find my email addresses sold by one of the forums I am member with or a company I always trusted shares my email with its own partners and they further share my email with their partners...

if u own your own email address you can create it or Yahoo offer it as service with its premium accounts.

Doug said...

Tell him if he's with the FBI he should be able to find your personal details without your help!

In unrelated news, you might be amused to hear that the British are being advised that Emirati tourists are easily offended and don't like being told what to do, according to official guidance from VisitBritain -

Seabee said...

Doug thanks for that, I'd missed it, it's hysterical.

It says the info came from the organisation's staff in its 35 offices worldwide. They really need to get out more.

I read a while ago that 600,000 UK civil servants are going to be 'let go' - I hope this lot are top of the list.

Susan said...

have you seen the blog by the guy who decided to follow one of these Nigerian scams through? Very very funny! I almost felt sorry for the scammers by the end! I'll try to find the link.

Seabee said...

Susan, I remember reading a story in one of the papers a while ago of a guy who scammed the scammers and managed to get money out of them. I'd like to see the blog if you can find the link...

Tex said...


This is nothing new, people should understandthat FBI DOES NOT contact anyone, and especially does NOT ISSUE ATM CARDS.
There is no such thing as ATM SWIFT CARD.
ANYONE receiving such mail, agreed should Spam or delete it without even OPENING.
Cause these scam mails always have hidden bugs, which once you open will sit in your computer sending every bank related message to the Owner.
Avoid on Line Banking unless you have secured with special ID proceedures with your bank.

It is unfortunate that greed acts and people get taken in.

Anonymous said...

Seabee/Susan: Here is the link to the African Scammers post which you're referring to. A classic.

I had hoped that the economic downtown would lead to improved customer service in Dubai, but obviously business is not that bad.

Seabee said...

EL thanks for that link - what a great read!